My partners son was here visiting last week from California. We had four days together and you would not believe what we fit in to those four days without ever feeling rushed. We went parasailing over Siesta Key and spent about five hours out on the boat watching others parasail ,watched a few dolphins (check out my youtube page for dolphin video) and then swam on a sandbar before they brought us back in to shore, Went thru the aquarium at Mote Marine and then a two hour boat trip/nature adventure, caught the sunset drum circle two different nights at Nokomis Beach and Siesta Beach, went out to eat at Gilligan's twice (best nachos!), Sharkys, Pelican Alley,Pita Shack,Ihop,Fridays and while shopping on St. Armands circle we ate at Tommy Bahamas Grill.
Today I am back at work and trying to get back into work mode but there were just so many great memories made...good times indeed!
Here are a few pictures from our weekend.
While I've been enjoying company, Amber over at Zany Dezines has done a great job giving my blog a make over! I can highly recommend her to anyone looking to spruce up their blog. We emailed back and forth a lot to insure that I was getting just what I wanted and I could not be happier with the results!
This week I am adding my favorite soap to the mix. (Yes I know it’s not a reality show…just spicing up the mix)
All My Children:
It has been so good lately. I don’t know who your favorites are, mine tend to change with the story line. I can’t say that I am upset that Erica is gone for a while. She has her travel blog thingy but I have not even bothered to go look at it, even thou I love the idea of soap characters having blogs!
I am loving the Annie/Jr Scott/Marissa mess. It’s sometimes hard to watch because I think JR and Marissa are not very good actors but Annie and Scott make up for it. I think with Annie finding out that Scott slept with Marissa her and JR will hook up but it won’t last.
I’m secretly hoping that Madison goes a little crazy again and goes after Greenly but I don’t know if they will do that since Annie did the same thing not too very long ago.
I can’t stand David, but in a love him/hate him way. I can’t imagine the show without him so it’s not a “wish he would get killed off” way but a “can’t stand that he is blackmailing my favorite girl” kinda way. I like it when I can’t wait to see the next show and it’s been that way for a week or so for me now.
Final Episode of Housewives of New Jersey:
That little girl Ashley needs to grow up! I do not like anything Danielle does or says either but there such a thing as right and wrong and pulling someones hair out of their head is wrong. I wonder what Ashley would do if the tables were turned.
I was hoping that Danielle would have agreed to Carolines truce meeting but of course calling her garbage again didn’t help that situation. I’ve heard that she (Danielle) isn’t going to be on the show anymore…I am happy about this but hope that it isn’t because they are giving her her own show.
I’m glad they are back from Italy. Teresa and her rude little monster children were driving me crazy.
It has not been as exciting without Rachel there but Brittany is more fun to watch. Last we saw she put up Enzo and Branden. It must be strange for her being the only girl in the house. Well that is if you don’t count Ragan. Ha! I saw Kristen put up the hippie tard and wig on ebay this week. Last I looked it was up to $127 and had something like 27 bids! Wow.
Real Housewives of DC:
I don’t know about ya’ll but it is not really keeing my interest. I am not crazy about the housewives. Maybe it’s just because we have not gotten to know them yet. It took me a long time to warm up to the NY ones too. I can’t wait for the Atlanta women to start again..Oct 4th I think is the first episode.
That about does it for now. What are YOU watching?
Day 10: Someone you need to let go , or wish you didnt know
Wow that seems harsh. The first answer that popped into my head was my ex. I don't know how to let go any more than I already have though. I think I have put a nice safe distance between us and have the power/control over when/how I want to answer calls/texts/emails. I don't think S fits into the category of wishing I didn't know them.
I am very good about cutting toxic people out of my life. When I see a relationship that isn't working for me I move away from it and do not pursue it. There is one person that I can put in this "wish I didn't know" category. That is pretty good for being in my 40's and not having any more than just one person I think!
"J" She was an ex of a friend of mine. I didn't much care for her then but later when she tried to pursue a friendship with me I gave it a try ,only to quickly realize that it wasn't going to work for me. Our first afternoon together I was subject to a crash course in this woman's life. I heard very intimate details about her newest relationship, I was forced to listen to her opinion on every one of her friends, my friends and people that would be at a party we were attending that day. I didn't have time to soak it in until I was away from her. She is one of those people that suck the energy from your body and mind.
I should have known before that day that we would not be a good fit. I had followed her blogs and quickly realized a theme. She would write about her friends in a negitive way without ever saying their names and then preach about love and light. I always worried that if I were to become friendly with her I would end up reading about something she didnt like about me in her blog.
So anyway, I am not going to write the novel that I could on this woman. I am just going to say that in my 43 years of living she is the one person I can honestly say that I wish I didn't know.
Day 9:Someone you did not want to let go but drifted off
People drifting in and out of my life is pretty common. I never want to let them go but I know that there will be a time and place when we re-connect. Life gets busy and in the way sometimes of seeing/talking with my friends on an everyday basis but once I make a friend they are my friend for life. I recently heard from my BFF from college. It had been many years since we last spoke but we picked back up with the memories like it was only yesterday and that is usually the case for me with long lost friends.
I have been told that I am very "Fluid". I don't stress too much about missing friends or not talking or staying in touch all the time, as I said they come back around when it's time. People are put in our lives when we need them most.
The world of twitter,facebook,blogging has made it easier to stay in touch with a larger number of people but some would argue that the depth of the relationships suffer. I'm not one of those poeple..maybe because I'm not that deep? Perhaps.
For the complete list of the 30 Days of Truth Click Here
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Knowing myself today I can't even imagine the person I was at 21. Why I would ever put up with the crap this person put me through is shocking to me now. I dated him for four years. He was older. Married but going through a seperation/divorce when we met.
I worked at a paint store in the wallpaper department. He was a paint contractor. I was freshly divorced from my first husband. He offered friendship,gifts, attention. In the begining he was all about building me up. He was funny. Everyone liked him. He lived in a very nice house and had lots of toys (motorcycles,cars,etc.) It didnt matter that I thought he looked like Danny DeVito, he was being nice to me and at that time in my life I needed that.
He was quick to start with the gifts. One of our early dates was to the mall in Ft Myers I believe. I felt like I was in a movie. He took me on a shopping spree for clothes. I came home with lots of new outfits and a slowly growing crush/attachement to this man that was treating me like a princess.
Later I would learn that everything he gave me came with a very expensive price tag emotionally. He would treat me awfully and then buy my forgiveness with jewely, clothes, furniture. I remember feeling almost sick to my stomach as I'd approach his house before our dates, what would set him off tonight I'd think..would I have too much make up on, not enough, would he not like the outfit I was wearing, would I have to change before we went out? Looking back now I wonder why I didnt just turn around and go home when he'd act that way.
I would tell myself that it wasnt that bad, he hadnt hit hard enough to break anything. I would tell myself that I deserved his mean comments, that I should have spent more time putting on make up or picking out my outfits. Everyone else seemed to love this man and think he was so charming so for me to say differently no one would believe me.
When he threw a rock thru my windshield as I was trying to get away from him it was my fault beause I had sprayed pepper spray in his face. When he slapped me across the face it was my fault becasue I had kicked him in the groin as he held me down. When he sprained my wrist by twisting it so hard that I thought it would break it was my fault because I was not appreciating him enough. When he held my face inches from our camp fire the last summer we were together it was my fault for screaming too loudly when he pulled my hair.
Yes, I know it wasnt really my fault.I don't know what ever made me think it was. I finally did have enough.
With all the things that I have forgotten in the last 20 plus years I think that I will never forget this day. We were making lunch. Today's lunch was grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. I much preferred just grilled cheese but my eating habits were a constant argument between us so I didn't say anything and sat down to the lunch he had prepared. I must have made a face or something because I could tell by his tone that he was annoyed with me yet again. He asked me rather harshly to make him a list of the foods that I disliked. I shot back too quickly that it would be easier to make him a list of what I liked.
Before I knew what hit me he had punched me in the head. My glasses went flying. He reached for them and threw them on a very tall ledge in his house so that I could not put them on and leave. (I could never drive without them). As I sat crying he went and gathered my belongings while yelling at me all the while. He lived almost an hour away from my house so when I'd come up for the weekends I would have to bring several selections of outfits for whatever he may have planned for us to do. He was making trips out to my car with all of my stuff and yelling at me. I crawled into the kitchen and dialed 911, between his trips back and forth.he found me on the phone and yanked a hand full of hair from my head. I cried harder. He went to get a ladder to retrieve my glasses from the ledge so he could be done with me and the police arrived. They police made him give me my glasses and they escorted him off to jail. He asked the police if I could stay in the house because one of his parrots needed medication at the time. They said yes, and surprisingly I stayed. I was scared to death that he was going to come back and hurt me but I stayed. Sometime in the middle of the night the police came back to check on me and told me that he would be getting out of jail in the morning but I was safe until then. I left very early in the morning never to go back.
There would be conversations later about dropping charges. I think he talked me into dropping charges but I honestly don't recall. A few years later when he came to see me at work and I was less than friendly he made a comment that he could not believe that is what i was taking from our relationship and me coming off as a "victim" was very unattractive.
I am usually one to stay in touch with my ex's and even remain friends. He is one that I will never be friends or even friendly with again. I used to have nightmares about him but those have long stopped. A few years ago he was pictured in the paper for doing some work with a local church it about made me sick to even look at the picture.
I can say 100% that I will never be in an abusive relationship again. I will never live in fear of someone again, I will not give them that much power over MY life.
It’s not like I wait all week for these or anything but I do find myself keeping track during the week of things to post on Fridays. I’m thankful that my lists are generally short. That either means I have a very short memory or that my week has been good!
Ok…since Blogging is taking over my life these days a few of my flip offs are dedicated to blogging.
I’m flipping off the blogs that I want to comment on but make it a pain to do so. Why do I have to sign in and then try and figure out the captcha thingy? It really isn’t fair to put letters/numbers that look alike in those things. If I mess it up more than once I usually give up so Flip Off!
I’m also flipping off the blogs that no matter how many times I close they pop back up. Is anyone else having this problem or can you tell me why it’s happening? It is so annoying. I try to go on to read another blog and the last one just keeps opening, over and over. Grrrrr Flip Off and go away!
I’m flipping off my 11 year old air conditioner and the repair guy that came out yesterday only to tell me that the average life of an AC in Florida is 8-10 years so mine is beyond it’s life span. Flip Off!
I hate to do this, it really pains me to flip off my perfect angel fur child DJ but I must. I have to flip him off for eating poop! The other dogs don’t do this, so why must my favored child DJ do it? Flip Off! And..no more kisses on the mouth for you little boy!
No more flip offs this week for Big Brother..I LOVED having a Rachael free week and even when she came back it was entertaining as hell to see her and ragan fight..I feel sorry for Kathy having to go live with her in the jury house. I was glad that matt didn’t go because that would have just given her one more chance to screetch “Ain’t no body comin between me and my man”
Day 7: Someone that has made your life worth living.
I don't have one specific person...I have people. My family and my friends make life worth living. I love the adventure that my life is. I look forward to each day and have very happy memories of days already lived. I am sad when I think of the adventure ending as I know it. I think there will be more, but it will be different, it will be a new adventure with new "people".
I have not always been happy, have not always looked forward to the adventure around the corner called my life. I have thought it would be easier to move on to the next adventure early, I am glad that I didn't. I could not see the beauty of life thru the pain of the moment. Just as the clouds fade away into a beautiful rainbow so did the pain of those days not so very long ago.
It started here with the full list of the 30 days of truth .
Day 5 is something you hope to do in your life.
I could get really deep and say I hope for more peace and understanding in the world. I hope to see a world where it is not even questioned what your gender or relationship status is for you to adopt a child, get married, serve in the military.
I do hope for all of the above. I also hope to see my friends and family happy. I hope to win the lottery, have a baby,never have to say goodbye to those that I love.
For today I hope to get all of my work done, make Vic smile and maybe even laugh a few times, love up on the furchildren, give my sister some hope that life will get better. I hope to watch Big Brother without having to hear Rachels annoying laugh but thru the spoilers I've seen I know that isnt going to happen.
I hope to write my aunt another letter because I know it means so much to her as she recovers from a stroke. I hope to never know what that feels like.
Ack..another one of these type posts...I am not enjoying these last few days of the 30 days of truth!
I don't think that I hold on to grudges or wrong doings. I am actually pretty quick to forgive.Yes, I may still tease my sister about stealing my car, sleeping with my ex husband and killing my hamster (ok it was really my other sisters hamster but I needed a third thing) but I have really forgiven her a long, long time ago.
I try not to clutter my life with ill will. People may disappoint me or upset me but it just hurts ME to keep that feeling going , it's much more freeing to let it go. I may think twice about how close I am with them in the future but for my own sanity I have let what ever it is they have done, go.
It has always bothered me to see people live their lives as victims. They were abused or hurt in the past and because of that they either have a chip on their shoulder because they are waiting for someone else to try and hurt them , or they feel sorry for themselves and blame everything that has gone wrong in their lives on the past.
No one makes it to old age without some scars. Your quality of life will be the relection of how you look at your scars. For me, I see them, I know they are there, I know they are not going to go away but they are almost invisible , kind of like freckles..they blend in. Do I wish that I had less freckles? I don't really think about it. Do I stop living life in the sun because I'm worried about more? No. I protect myself with sunscreen (positive attitude) and go on living.
As I've gotten older I have learned a few things. I control how I feel, Others can not "make" me feel anything.
We went and saw Eat, Pray, Love last night. The theater was packed. That is just something you don’t see very often in the small town that I live in. I thought that it would enhance the movie but it didn’t , the crowd was mostly quiet. I guess one of the last few movies I saw that had a big crowd was “This is it” (Michael Jackson) , It was moving because so many people sat in silence and cried at the end…long after the movie was over. It was almost like no one wanted to get up and leave.
Anyway, back to the movie. I had not read the book. So many times movies are not as good as the book. I had guessed that this would probably be the case in this movie as well, but it didn’t much matter because I have not read a book in a very long time.
I saw Julia Roberts on Oprah talking about this movie some time ago and knew that I wanted to see it. A movie with Julia Roberts in it could not go wrong she’s an amazing actress!
The movie was great! The views were incredible and made me want to visit Italy and Bali. I kept thinking of my mom during the “Eat” part of the movie. She just got back from Italy and I wondered if she would watch the movie and see places that she had seen.
My mind wandered a lot in the movie. I kept thinking what an incredible opportunity it would be to travel for a year and “find” yourself. I found myself relating to the characters of the movie in many ways.
I too had a hope chest from very early on that held baby things for children that did not exist. I didn’t know what my future would look like but I never imagined children not being in it. Life is funny that way. I too would wake up in relationships and realize that I had turned into them and lost myself some where along the way. How does that happen ?
I think visually “Eat” was my favorite part of the movie. I could live in the “Love” part very easily! I want the house that she lives in in Bali! I liked the “family” feeling in both Italy and Bali. Happiness to me is often the feeling of being surrounded by my friends and family. The conversation that Julia had with the new bride in the “Pray” part of the movie stands out the most to me. I really felt that the bride would be happy because of the “light and love” Julia sent out into the universe for her.
It is a movie I will watch again. I love movies that make me think. Movies that move me to do something and be more “present” in my life. The line at the end about opening your mind and letting everyone you come in contact with to be your teacher really struck a chord with me. There is so much we can learn from others…if we will just listen and not only with our ears but with our hearts.
I have been thinking about Day 3 (Something you must forgive yourself for) for a few days now. I don't know if it's because I just don't want to think about it or if it is because this is just too deep for my blog but I have almost quit doing the 30 days of truth for Day 3 and 4 (4 is something you must forgive someone else for)
I know that I am my own worst critic. But even being the worst I cut myself a lot of slack. I am pretty easy going and roll with the flow and accept that I make mistakes and feel that is part of the whole "Life" experience. So, I don't think I am ready to "forgive" myself...I will just try and do better and hope to not repeat any wrong doings.
I guess I could turn to humor and forgive myself for those large glasses that I loved in the 80's.
While looking thru the pictures on my computer I thought of a few other things to forgive myself for..
Getting upset with my grandfather for taking my jeans out of the dryer and speaking harshly to him,he's not living any more and I hate that I was ever rude to him
Making my sister cry when she was pregnant. I gave her a hard time about not asking the doctor enough questions and feel bad that she cried over the way I treated her.
Today is the day I reach 100 followers! I realized this after my 99th follower became a follower…I feel kinda bad about that one. I was so excited to do my Friday flip off blog hop (Thanks Gigi!) That I rushed thru three things, had a brain freeze and hit post , only to then seconds later think of at least four other things I had wanted to flip off and didn’t! But edit is not my friend, I am a total spur of the moment can’t wait to edit or photo shop anything before putting it all out there for the world to see. Miss Impatience.
Ok so anyway, I rush off to read all of the other Friday flip offs because I love reading about what other people flip off about and I come across three blogs that do not have flip offs posted. They linked up but didn’t flip off! Instead of just moving on to the next blog my evil twin decides she must play blogger police and leave comments to these bloggers that are not playing by the rules. What is this, 3rd grade? I move on and then get an email about my behavior and I start to feel bad. It’s not even MY blog hop..why did I do that? What a way to get more followers eh? Sorry to you ladies that I did that to this morning.
A little bit about me to the new followers …I started blogging on Myspace several years ago. It was a great place to write. I’d write poems, life stories, love letters, adventures. It was a “high” when I’d get comments that people could relate or find humor in what I had written.Then I moved on to facebook and would write in the “notes” section. That was great but not quite the blogging experience I was looking for. I found blogger not so long ago and so far am happy with the fit. I blog when I want to, I do blog hops to meet new and interesting bloggers. In the early days I’d follow almost anyone but quickly realized that this isn’t necessary, there truly are blogs I’d rather read over others. I still have not figured out how to “un-follow” so my blog list is rather long. Now I take more time to look over blogs that I follow. I am sorry but if your blog is all about God, or babies, or politics, I probably won’t find much in common with you. Post a few pics of your dogs however and you’ve got a friend in me! LOL make it a dachshund and BONUS I’ll hang on your every post in case you mention your dog or throw in a picture. Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I don’t have God in my life…I just call her “Spirit” and believe actions speak more loudly than a book, and I love babies but I do not have children and can’t always relate to the content of every day life as a mom, and we don’t even need to get into politics. I’ll just say I love Obama..and was a republican my entire life until the last election. I liked Bush for a long time too….what is my favorite saying..When we know better we do better”
I Hate labeles…but if you must put one on me let me give you a few….sister, daughter, niece, aunt, lesbian, femme, little girl,girlfriend, best friend, writer, photographer, comedian, mother of five furchildren.
Wow, this is getting to be a long blog..are you still reading?
Something that comes up a lot in my family is the subject of putting too much out on the Internet. My partner doesn’t like that I’ve posted so many pictures on facebook of her. My family says the same thing. I really should respect that they maybe are serious and don’t want it all out there but they are mostly good pictures and a document of our history. I love sharing my life and that is part of it. It hurts my feelings to think of taking the pictures down. If someone doesn’t like a picture and asks me to I will take it down.
I didn’t much see the harm in posting pictures, stories, journals.
And then this week some jet blue employee had a bad day. He got on the loud speaker , said some bad words, deployed the emergency slide and left his job with a bang. He went to jail. The media went crazy trying to find out everything about him. On the news last night I saw his high school yearbook picture, the clubs he belonged to in high school, his myspace posts and pictures, his ex-wife, his current gay partner and anyone that knows him is talking about him. So I start to worry…what if I go crazy at the supermarket and make national news for something..hey it could happen! What would they find to say about me? My twitter posts that Elizabeth on the View is a nit wit? My facebook status celebrating California's stay on gay marriage? My blog of Friday Flip offs?? Oh my gosh. I’d better make sure I don’t do anything crazy. And to think our worries used to be only about clean underwear.
I love that I have a huge heart. I love that I care what happens to our planet, to our people, to our animals.
I love that I still have friends from childhood that stay in touch with me. I love my sense of humor. I love that I love ME!
This post is reminding me of that Toby Keith song ....lol
For those that know me..what do you love about me?
Every week I can't wait to do my Friday Flip Offs! If you would like to join the fun go to Kludgy Moms and follow her lead.
This week I'd like to Flip Off Bill McCollum for his remarks regarding gay foster parents and his ideas to make it illegal in Florida to foster children if you are gay.
I'm also flipping off not being able to get comfortable last night. I hate to flip off my little darling fur children but I do think they were the cause of this. If it wasnt them taking up the entire bed it was the sand they brought in on their dirty little feet.
I'm flipping off Big Brother again this week for Julies parting words to Rachel , was that some sort of hint that she could be back?! Argg
I found that several of the blogs that I follow are doing something called "the 30 days of truth" . I have liked reading theirs so far and it gives me a topic for the day...so here goes! Day 1 is something I hate about myself.
I hate that I have no will power when it comes to weight loss. I leave the house all pumped up on exercise and eating healthy and then get to the store only to pile crap in my cart.
I hate that I have become so lazy. I would rather blog or facebook than actually get out and exercise and interact with real people.
I hate that I don't keep a cleaner house.
Wow...this is turning into a hate fest...not sure it's the most happy of posts. I am a glass half full kinda girl...rainbows and lolly pops, kittens and cotton candy, rose colored glasses wearing kind of girl. I don't like to hate anything...so I am sorry I have to change this post...I hate that I got distracted from my perfect world for a minute and posted negitive things :) lol
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
It's that time again...Reality TV Review Time! And a reminder that tonight the new season of Flipping Out on Bravo starts! I love watching Jeff Lewis when he forgets to filter what comes out of his mouth.
Big Brother 12: this may just be the week we've been waiting for...Rachel to leave the house Thursday!yipppeeeeee!! I can watch without that annoying laugh maybe next week! I've had friends posting on my facebook page that they think Brendan is using her...I honestly don't think he is that smart. Pussy Whipped...yes! I've really gotten to like Brittany because of her witty Diary Room moments. She totally has my sense of humor.
Real Housewives of NJ: Last nights episode took them to Italy. I felt so badly for Caroline. Teresa and her rude little girls drove me crazy. I usually like Teresa but she really came off like a spoiled brat last night. And I don't believe for a minute that Joe wasnt drinking when he wrecked at 2am! His story about taking shots after the wreck seemed a little too well planned for me. It's funny, kind of like in real life when you say bad stuff about family but don't want anyone else putting down your family, That is how I felt when Daniel started commenting on Joe being drunk and driving..back off hussy those are my people. ha!
Real Housewives of DC: It's only been one episode and then the whole drama over the View..not sure I'm fellin this show yet. The snob level is tad too high for me.
This is the last week for Work Of Art. I'm gunning for Miles to win it. I'm really glad that I came across this show and hope it comes back another season. Every week there is Art that I either love or hate and I always turn it off promising to dig out my art supplies soon.
What did you watch this week, and what did you think?
How fitting that my 100th post be a blog hop! I love blog hops and have met some of the nicest bloggers doing different hops!
If you are visiting me for the first time I will tell you a bit about myself.
I am a 40+ woman living in Florida with my partner, Two Yellow Labs, Two Miniature Dachshunds and a cat. I blog A LOT...I love to add clips of videos I've made, pictures I've taken and stories about what is going on in my life. I do informational blogs on our company website (http://www.findsiestakeyrentals.com/) but wanted to write a little more personal stories and came here for that. I have also had a few things published by Associated Content. I don't think I am a great writer or anything like that, but I do ENJOY writing and love reading other peoples blogs, I guess it's like reality TV only different lol
I love reality TV and watch almost anything you could think of. I have a tender heart and have always wanted to change the world and make it a better place. I think that I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth and love to post pictures and videos of the places around me. I hope that you'll have a look around and say hello so I can come check out your blog too !
Why would I think that I could give any kind of dating/relationship advice when I have been married three times and have had tons of girlfriends and boyfriends? Well, because I’ve been married three times and have had tons of girlfriends and boyfriends of course! I love being in a relationship. Strike that…I love being in a GOOD relationship. When they no longer become “Good” for either party it is time to move on. For the most part I am very good friends with my ex’s. Only on rare occasion have things ended so badly that we do not stay in touch. On those few occasions that I have not stayed in touch there have been common denominators, such as lack of respect in the first place for each other.
Ok back to the keys…The main key on my key ring has got to be respect. Why would you stay with someone that you don’t respect or that does not respect you?
Sometimes it takes a while to figure this one out. The saying that love is blind is so very true and those blinders will fool you into many things!
The second key on my ring is trust. To trust your partner is important but it is just as important if not more to trust yourself. Trust that you will not do anything to hurt the relationship. Trust those built in instincts of right and wrong.
The third key is communication. This is a big key for me. Every so often my partner, Vic, and I check in with each other. We ask and answer the questions “Is this relationship everything you want?, Is there anything that you want that you are not getting from our relationship? Anything you’d like us to try and do more of? Are you Happy? And so on…and we are very honest with our answers. There are things we’d love to have change but we know they probably won’t so we put those in the “learn to live with” category. For example I know that Vic would like for me to cook more. I would like for me to cook more. Will it happen? Probably not, but I will make an effort to try and cook from time to time. If we didn’t talk about this I could see where it may become a resentment and cause problems down the road but because we constantly check in with each other there are no big surprises.
A key that is often forgotten about is kindness. We try and always say please and thank you to each other. We all have bad days, and I am guilty of snapping my answers back when I’m in the middle of something. Vic is good about giving me a look that lets me know I’ve been less than kind in my response and I try to correct it. I’ve been around other couples that do not speak kindly to each other and it is uncomfortable to be with them. I would be embarrassed if Vic or anyone else that I was close to talked to me in the tone I’ve heard some of my friends use with their mates.
A rule I learned a long time ago from a very happily married couple was to never bring others into your relationship. I’m not talking threesomes or anything like that (been there done that..another really BAD idea..lol) But what I am talking about is when there is a problem do not go to your family/friends and talk about it. In most cases whatever the problem is will work it self out and by talking about it to someone other than your partner you give it more energy and life than it deserves. My sister told me that even thou I never talk about anything negative about my relationships she can tell when things are “off” because I just won’t say anything. I change the subject or say “everything’s fine” and move on to another subject. People outside the relationship do not NEED to know the details of the latest misunderstanding or fight.
Always , always, always be sweet and loving to each other when you are around other people. No one likes to be around a fighting couple..it makes EVERYONE uncomfortable. If you can’t act like you are at least friends maybe you should not attend whatever get together is happening. I found with my ex when we would act friendly in front of company by the time they were gone we would have forgotten about what we were fighting about and things would stay loving and friendly.
I read in Cosmo one time about a couple that would agree before parties on little signals they could give each other across a crowded room to say I love you, I’m thinking about you, or let’s leave soon. I’m not the most comfortable in crowds so this has always worked for me. The ride home is a great time to compare notes on what you see other couples doing right and wrong. It’s not really gossiping, you are keeping it between the two of you, but it gives a platform for what you want and don’t want in your relationship. I think we are doing something right because we usually leave saying “I love US!”
What are some of your relationship keys and deal breakers?
Deal breakers for me:
Getting Physical with me, anyone in my family, or the furchildren
I can’t think of any other deal breakers that would make me say “the end”..
It was the Versatile Blogger award. I was so excited. Sat down to do everything you are suppose to do..Thank the person giving it to me, tell 7 things about myself and then give it to 15 other bloggers that I follow. I got a note pad out and wrote everything out first. I started mac and cheese and forgot about it only to go in later and find the water evaporated...I was in serious blogger mode!
I was on the second or maybe third hour of coming up with this post, going and getting links to every ones pages so i wasn't just telling you about other blogs but actually sharing a link to their page. I was being witty and charming and found it fun to read and hoped you would too. I was on number 13 of the 15 bloggers list and it disappeared! No matter what I try I can't find my work now....Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Ok several hours later and I have cooled off enough to try this again. Only this time I am starting in WORD instead of blogger and then hopefully it will not disappear on me.
As I was saying earlier I won an award today! The Versatile Blogger Award! Woohoo! Thank you Kristina Churchill for thinking of me!
The rules of the award are simple.
Thank the person that gave you the award. Again, Thank you Kristina!
Share Seven things about yourself.
Pass the award on to 15 bloggers who you recently discovered that you think are totally awesome.
Contact the bloggers and let them know they won.
1.I am probably more excited than I should be about winning a blogging award
2.The world is a better place because of the color PINK
3.I give my dogs voices and Scout doesn’t sound very smart.
4.When my mom used to make Roast it put me in an instant bad mood.
5.I have had two hip replacements in the last few years.
6.I think there is nothing better than CAKE for breakfast.
7.I love Reality TV better than any other kind of TV shows.
15 Awesome Bloggers!
·Bitch Cakes I just found this blog recently when she made her weight loss goal. I totally fell in love with the hello kitty pink bike! She is an inspiration to read and really made me want to get on my bike, grab my camera and go!
·A Nuttier Life , ok the dachshund cartoon totally got me first. But then the blog caught me too. She is doing the 30 day blog challenge and has shared some pretty heavy stuff this week.
·Bitchy Big Brother Blog is my guilty pleasure. I love the way she hates on Rachel as much as I do and I have laughed so hard that tears have come on more than one occasion!
·Marcia is the only blogger on the list that I know personally. She is new to blogger and just out of a bad relationship and her blog is her way of venting thru it. Love ya Marcia!
·ToughXCookies is a 20 something blog (yes I know I am not 20 something) for the lesbian girls out there. Even thou I could be their mother I find the topics fresh and fun to read. And they have not kicked me off yet.
·Who’s your dachshund is written by 10 bloggers who have 16 dachshunds, very fun stuff! DJ and Dexter aka “the littles” gave them four paws up!
·Witchy Crazy Mommy just gave a great blogger tutorial on how to add subscribe to buttons on your blog!
·After thoughts is the page where I got my delicious CRACK receipe from Gigis friend Ella! That alone makes this a MUST have on any blogger list!
·Wanna Buy A Duck is a blog written by a more mature writer but with hints of fresh current topics! And cooking and diet advice on things to keep you living a long and healthy life.
·Lady Bloggers Society is my favorite blog to go to on Saturday mornings for the tea parties. It’s not only a fun blog hop but you have the chance to go back and write about what you enjoyed seeing while on your blog hop.
·Things I can’t say is a great place for give-a-ways and product reviews. I fell in love with the flip flop design and she was kind enough to answer my email and send me some blog designers to hook up with! A new page will be coming soon for me!
·Kludgymom got me started on her Flip Off Friday blog and now I can’t wait for Fridays to spill all my gripes from the week!
·You Must Go On is a young woman getting ready to leave home and go to college soon. She is facing an eating disorder, a new roommate and lots of changes coming up. Plus she likes Lady Gaga…woohoo!
·Red Means Go! Another funny favorite. I love blogs that make me laugh and she totally does on her way to fabulousity!
·DC Dating Divas is about dating in Washington DC I find it fun to re-live my college memories of the horrible dating scene!
I was pleasantly surprised this week! My best friend from college "poked" me on facebook!! We had lost touch many years ago and I had often wondered what had happened with her life. When we lost touch she was married with two small children in North Carolina and her life/world looked as close to perfect as my brain could wrap around. She had the very well dressed perfect kids, the big beautiful house that looked like it could have come out of a magazine. Her husband had a good job, she was doing wedding planning and scrapbooking. I believe..very creative "perfect" things. I am sure her life wasn't all this perfection, but since so many of the things that I longed for were lacking , her life sure looked good!
When we lost touch I was sure it was because of me. I wasn't married, if I was it didn't count. She came to visit once (maybe twice, but I could have blocked out the second time) I was living with my first husband in a small house with two Dalmatians and a dozen puppies. The bed she had to sleep on had no frame or headboard. My then husband was loud,obnoxious and drunk most of the time...I spent her visit being embarrassed by my life. Instead of the nice visit I wanted, I was hiding all of the fighting and hoped she wasnt noticing all of the drinking.
We lost touch and I went on to marry a second time. I had remained friends over the years with a boy that I dated in high school. He was the cute surfer that my parents were not crazy about at the time but they grew to like him after we got married.
That marriage lasted about two years. What went wrong? He drank, I bitched and we both needed time to grow up a little. We still talk on occasion and I would do anything for him, one of those things where we should have stayed best friends and not ruined it with marriage.
Ok then on to number 3....What? you thought that I would have given up dating and enjoyed life? Noo..just kidding. Number 3...We met in beautiful St Simon's Island GA after talking a very short time on AOL.Yes after husband two I discovered the Internet! There was a lot of dating going on.Number 3 and I really clicked.At the time we met I had a girlfriend and he was fine with that. I wasn't as fine with his girlfriends but it worked. It never really occurred to me that I could have a serious romantic one on one relationship with a female. I knew other gay couples but just never considered that option for myself.
After a year of dating long distance he moved to Florida. We moved in together and got married. We had a very good life together. All of the things I thought would make a perfect life...Nice cars,Big houses, yacht club memberships, wonderful vacations...and so on. Boy was I wrong on that one!
We started doing foster care because I wanted children. I fell in love with my first foster baby...Jabez.
All thoughts of adopting this perfect little boy ended one day in court when the judge thought it would be better if he was raised by his grandparents. I would go on to take in dozens of other foster children but none filled the hole in my heart left by this boy.
Fast forward a few years and I was sitting home more often than not waiting for the phone to ring in the middle of the night. Not for news of children needing a home for the night but for Number 3 needing a ride home from the club so he wouldn't be drinking and driving. He would go out more and more and I would turn to my "computer" friends for company and understanding.
I could go on and on about the things that happened but we can't go back and it wouldn't change anything..so moving forward in my story...
Between that day in Oct of 2006 when I walked out of my life as I knew it and today...
I am able to smile, I am with a woman that makes me very happy. I am in a relationship that knows TRUST, not just trusting that there will not be cheating but trust that we will do nothing to harm the relationship we have together.
Ok so on to my post.. For those that don't "know" me...I am over 40, have never had kids, am in a same sex relationship, live in Florida where it is not legal for same sex couples to adopt children, and am totally crazy in love with my four furchildren.
With that being said...Oprah did it again! Several years ago I was watching her do a show about the foster care system. It was my aha moment that she speaks of. I just knew that I could provide a good home to all of these children that need homes. I talked my then husband into doing foster care and for a few years that was a big part of my life. 24 children later and many life changing decisions I no longer do foster care and no longer have that husband or life.
Fast forward about 5 years..I'm watching Oprah again and the subject is four boys that were nearly starved to death in their foster home. Vic and I hit pause on the TV about a dozen times as we discussed the topic of becoming foster parents. Would it work now with all the dogs? We both agree that we are better suited for babies and toddlers, we talk about how we can make the second bedroom which is now used as Vic's closet, into a baby room..it would change our lives. This time around I know that falling in love and adopting isn't an option..it's a law here. Can my heart take this again? We leave the conversation with the agreement we will think about it more.
I know we will have to keep the house cleaner, train the dogs better, cook more than we do now, seriously get another car because the ones we have won't give us much room for car seats. Part of me wants to say but can't quite really feel the words..."are you crazy for wanting this again?" I know I'm not crazy. I know it is what I SHOULD be doing. I know it is what my "plan" is.
People talk about a "calling" and if ever there was one I feel this is mine. I want to make those children feel loved and to know that there is a better life out there than what they come from. Not that I think I am better than anyone but because they are my focus. I want them to go to bed happy and safe and not scared and hungry. Yes it's my weakness of wanting to change the world.
So anyway, I have not made the call yet but it is on my mind.
So I've been in reality tv overload! Let me share...
I am so sick of Rachael that it is not even funny. My DVR cut off half of Sundays show and I didn't even care. Once I saw that she was HOH again this week I was ready to take the week off.
Real Housewives of NJ...
This week Theresa has her baby christened. I can only imagine what that cost! Way over the top..as in the gay wedding on Sex in The City 2, over the top! It would not have surprised me if Liza popped out and started singing. As much as I love that show I am ready for Danielle to go. Have not heard if she will be cast off or not..but Kim G is not a favorite of mine either. I hear that Theresa went on the View this week and they were mean to her..shocker.
RuPauls Drag U
I'm really trying to like this show but straight women just don't bring the drama that the drag queens do. It will do in a pinch thou and I have enjoyed the two episodes I've seen so far.
Work of Art..
I love this show and always feel like getting out my paint brushes or art supplies after it's over. I think Miles is brilliant and can't stand the chick that keeps doing nude shots. She's got a great body but I don't see the "art" in it. Miles is kind of like Adam Lambert on Idol two years ago...so above all the other talent.
I missed the Kardashians in Miami this week but the ones I have been seeing make me want to just smack the crap out of Scott. Grow the hell up!
My surprise show that I have fallen in love with is Bethenys getting married? She was NOT my favorite NY housewife but I just love her show and that new baby is adorable. I think she picked the perfect guy for her and I love watching her with him. They compliment each other nicely.
This month brings back some of my old favorites Flipping Out and something else that escapes me right now. Housewives of DC starts Thursday..not sure If get totally engrossed in that or not..oh who am I kidding...I will!
I tried to follow Hollys show but she wasnt my favorite Girl Next Door and those tube socks drive me crazy.
That's about it for now..What Reality shows do you watch?