- My cooking
- My housekeeping skills
- My driving
- My very long attention span HA!
- My math skillz in keeping a checkbook in balance
- My long beautiful finger nails
Showing posts with label 30 days of truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 30 days of truth. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Day 12 no compliments
Day 12 in the 30 days of Truth: Something you never get complimented on.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Day 10 in the 30 Days of Truth
30 Days of Truth
Day 10: Someone you need to let go , or wish you didnt know
Wow that seems harsh. The first answer that popped into my head was my ex. I don't know how to let go any more than I already have though. I think I have put a nice safe distance between us and have the power/control over when/how I want to answer calls/texts/emails. I don't think S fits into the category of wishing I didn't know them.
I am very good about cutting toxic people out of my life. When I see a relationship that isn't working for me I move away from it and do not pursue it. There is one person that I can put in this "wish I didn't know" category. That is pretty good for being in my 40's and not having any more than just one person I think!
"J" She was an ex of a friend of mine. I didn't much care for her then but later when she tried to pursue a friendship with me I gave it a try ,only to quickly realize that it wasn't going to work for me. Our first afternoon together I was subject to a crash course in this woman's life. I heard very intimate details about her newest relationship, I was forced to listen to her opinion on every one of her friends, my friends and people that would be at a party we were attending that day. I didn't have time to soak it in until I was away from her. She is one of those people that suck the energy from your body and mind.
I should have known before that day that we would not be a good fit. I had followed her blogs and quickly realized a theme. She would write about her friends in a negitive way without ever saying their names and then preach about love and light. I always worried that if I were to become friendly with her I would end up reading about something she didnt like about me in her blog.
So anyway, I am not going to write the novel that I could on this woman. I am just going to say that in my 43 years of living she is the one person I can honestly say that I wish I didn't know.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go , or wish you didnt know
Wow that seems harsh. The first answer that popped into my head was my ex. I don't know how to let go any more than I already have though. I think I have put a nice safe distance between us and have the power/control over when/how I want to answer calls/texts/emails. I don't think S fits into the category of wishing I didn't know them.
I am very good about cutting toxic people out of my life. When I see a relationship that isn't working for me I move away from it and do not pursue it. There is one person that I can put in this "wish I didn't know" category. That is pretty good for being in my 40's and not having any more than just one person I think!
"J" She was an ex of a friend of mine. I didn't much care for her then but later when she tried to pursue a friendship with me I gave it a try ,only to quickly realize that it wasn't going to work for me. Our first afternoon together I was subject to a crash course in this woman's life. I heard very intimate details about her newest relationship, I was forced to listen to her opinion on every one of her friends, my friends and people that would be at a party we were attending that day. I didn't have time to soak it in until I was away from her. She is one of those people that suck the energy from your body and mind.
I should have known before that day that we would not be a good fit. I had followed her blogs and quickly realized a theme. She would write about her friends in a negitive way without ever saying their names and then preach about love and light. I always worried that if I were to become friendly with her I would end up reading about something she didnt like about me in her blog.
So anyway, I am not going to write the novel that I could on this woman. I am just going to say that in my 43 years of living she is the one person I can honestly say that I wish I didn't know.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Day 9 of the 30 Days of Truth
Day 9:Someone you did not want to let go but drifted off
People drifting in and out of my life is pretty common. I never want to let them go but I know that there will be a time and place when we re-connect. Life gets busy and in the way sometimes of seeing/talking with my friends on an everyday basis but once I make a friend they are my friend for life. I recently heard from my BFF from college. It had been many years since we last spoke but we picked back up with the memories like it was only yesterday and that is usually the case for me with long lost friends.
I have been told that I am very "Fluid". I don't stress too much about missing friends or not talking or staying in touch all the time, as I said they come back around when it's time. People are put in our lives when we need them most.
The world of twitter,facebook,blogging has made it easier to stay in touch with a larger number of people but some would argue that the depth of the relationships suffer. I'm not one of those poeple..maybe because I'm not that deep? Perhaps.
For the complete list of the 30 Days of Truth Click Here
People drifting in and out of my life is pretty common. I never want to let them go but I know that there will be a time and place when we re-connect. Life gets busy and in the way sometimes of seeing/talking with my friends on an everyday basis but once I make a friend they are my friend for life. I recently heard from my BFF from college. It had been many years since we last spoke but we picked back up with the memories like it was only yesterday and that is usually the case for me with long lost friends.
I have been told that I am very "Fluid". I don't stress too much about missing friends or not talking or staying in touch all the time, as I said they come back around when it's time. People are put in our lives when we need them most.
The world of twitter,facebook,blogging has made it easier to stay in touch with a larger number of people but some would argue that the depth of the relationships suffer. I'm not one of those poeple..maybe because I'm not that deep? Perhaps.
For the complete list of the 30 Days of Truth Click Here
Friday, August 20, 2010
Day 8 of the 30 Days Of Truth
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Knowing myself today I can't even imagine the person I was at 21. Why I would ever put up with the crap this person put me through is shocking to me now. I dated him for four years. He was older. Married but going through a seperation/divorce when we met.
I worked at a paint store in the wallpaper department. He was a paint contractor. I was freshly divorced from my first husband. He offered friendship,gifts, attention. In the begining he was all about building me up. He was funny. Everyone liked him. He lived in a very nice house and had lots of toys (motorcycles,cars,etc.) It didnt matter that I thought he looked like Danny DeVito, he was being nice to me and at that time in my life I needed that.
He was quick to start with the gifts. One of our early dates was to the mall in Ft Myers I believe. I felt like I was in a movie. He took me on a shopping spree for clothes. I came home with lots of new outfits and a slowly growing crush/attachement to this man that was treating me like a princess.
Later I would learn that everything he gave me came with a very expensive price tag emotionally. He would treat me awfully and then buy my forgiveness with jewely, clothes, furniture. I remember feeling almost sick to my stomach as I'd approach his house before our dates, what would set him off tonight I'd think..would I have too much make up on, not enough, would he not like the outfit I was wearing, would I have to change before we went out? Looking back now I wonder why I didnt just turn around and go home when he'd act that way.
I would tell myself that it wasnt that bad, he hadnt hit hard enough to break anything. I would tell myself that I deserved his mean comments, that I should have spent more time putting on make up or picking out my outfits. Everyone else seemed to love this man and think he was so charming so for me to say differently no one would believe me.
When he threw a rock thru my windshield as I was trying to get away from him it was my fault beause I had sprayed pepper spray in his face. When he slapped me across the face it was my fault becasue I had kicked him in the groin as he held me down. When he sprained my wrist by twisting it so hard that I thought it would break it was my fault because I was not appreciating him enough. When he held my face inches from our camp fire the last summer we were together it was my fault for screaming too loudly when he pulled my hair.
Yes, I know it wasnt really my fault.I don't know what ever made me think it was. I finally did have enough.
With all the things that I have forgotten in the last 20 plus years I think that I will never forget this day. We were making lunch. Today's lunch was grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. I much preferred just grilled cheese but my eating habits were a constant argument between us so I didn't say anything and sat down to the lunch he had prepared. I must have made a face or something because I could tell by his tone that he was annoyed with me yet again. He asked me rather harshly to make him a list of the foods that I disliked. I shot back too quickly that it would be easier to make him a list of what I liked.
Before I knew what hit me he had punched me in the head. My glasses went flying. He reached for them and threw them on a very tall ledge in his house so that I could not put them on and leave. (I could never drive without them). As I sat crying he went and gathered my belongings while yelling at me all the while. He lived almost an hour away from my house so when I'd come up for the weekends I would have to bring several selections of outfits for whatever he may have planned for us to do. He was making trips out to my car with all of my stuff and yelling at me. I crawled into the kitchen and dialed 911, between his trips back and forth.he found me on the phone and yanked a hand full of hair from my head. I cried harder. He went to get a ladder to retrieve my glasses from the ledge so he could be done with me and the police arrived. They police made him give me my glasses and they escorted him off to jail. He asked the police if I could stay in the house because one of his parrots needed medication at the time. They said yes, and surprisingly I stayed. I was scared to death that he was going to come back and hurt me but I stayed. Sometime in the middle of the night the police came back to check on me and told me that he would be getting out of jail in the morning but I was safe until then. I left very early in the morning never to go back.
There would be conversations later about dropping charges. I think he talked me into dropping charges but I honestly don't recall. A few years later when he came to see me at work and I was less than friendly he made a comment that he could not believe that is what i was taking from our relationship and me coming off as a "victim" was very unattractive.
I am usually one to stay in touch with my ex's and even remain friends. He is one that I will never be friends or even friendly with again. I used to have nightmares about him but those have long stopped. A few years ago he was pictured in the paper for doing some work with a local church it about made me sick to even look at the picture.
I can say 100% that I will never be in an abusive relationship again. I will never live in fear of someone again, I will not give them that much power over MY life.
Knowing myself today I can't even imagine the person I was at 21. Why I would ever put up with the crap this person put me through is shocking to me now. I dated him for four years. He was older. Married but going through a seperation/divorce when we met.
I worked at a paint store in the wallpaper department. He was a paint contractor. I was freshly divorced from my first husband. He offered friendship,gifts, attention. In the begining he was all about building me up. He was funny. Everyone liked him. He lived in a very nice house and had lots of toys (motorcycles,cars,etc.) It didnt matter that I thought he looked like Danny DeVito, he was being nice to me and at that time in my life I needed that.
He was quick to start with the gifts. One of our early dates was to the mall in Ft Myers I believe. I felt like I was in a movie. He took me on a shopping spree for clothes. I came home with lots of new outfits and a slowly growing crush/attachement to this man that was treating me like a princess.
Later I would learn that everything he gave me came with a very expensive price tag emotionally. He would treat me awfully and then buy my forgiveness with jewely, clothes, furniture. I remember feeling almost sick to my stomach as I'd approach his house before our dates, what would set him off tonight I'd think..would I have too much make up on, not enough, would he not like the outfit I was wearing, would I have to change before we went out? Looking back now I wonder why I didnt just turn around and go home when he'd act that way.
I would tell myself that it wasnt that bad, he hadnt hit hard enough to break anything. I would tell myself that I deserved his mean comments, that I should have spent more time putting on make up or picking out my outfits. Everyone else seemed to love this man and think he was so charming so for me to say differently no one would believe me.
When he threw a rock thru my windshield as I was trying to get away from him it was my fault beause I had sprayed pepper spray in his face. When he slapped me across the face it was my fault becasue I had kicked him in the groin as he held me down. When he sprained my wrist by twisting it so hard that I thought it would break it was my fault because I was not appreciating him enough. When he held my face inches from our camp fire the last summer we were together it was my fault for screaming too loudly when he pulled my hair.
Yes, I know it wasnt really my fault.I don't know what ever made me think it was. I finally did have enough.
With all the things that I have forgotten in the last 20 plus years I think that I will never forget this day. We were making lunch. Today's lunch was grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. I much preferred just grilled cheese but my eating habits were a constant argument between us so I didn't say anything and sat down to the lunch he had prepared. I must have made a face or something because I could tell by his tone that he was annoyed with me yet again. He asked me rather harshly to make him a list of the foods that I disliked. I shot back too quickly that it would be easier to make him a list of what I liked.
Before I knew what hit me he had punched me in the head. My glasses went flying. He reached for them and threw them on a very tall ledge in his house so that I could not put them on and leave. (I could never drive without them). As I sat crying he went and gathered my belongings while yelling at me all the while. He lived almost an hour away from my house so when I'd come up for the weekends I would have to bring several selections of outfits for whatever he may have planned for us to do. He was making trips out to my car with all of my stuff and yelling at me. I crawled into the kitchen and dialed 911, between his trips back and forth.he found me on the phone and yanked a hand full of hair from my head. I cried harder. He went to get a ladder to retrieve my glasses from the ledge so he could be done with me and the police arrived. They police made him give me my glasses and they escorted him off to jail. He asked the police if I could stay in the house because one of his parrots needed medication at the time. They said yes, and surprisingly I stayed. I was scared to death that he was going to come back and hurt me but I stayed. Sometime in the middle of the night the police came back to check on me and told me that he would be getting out of jail in the morning but I was safe until then. I left very early in the morning never to go back.
There would be conversations later about dropping charges. I think he talked me into dropping charges but I honestly don't recall. A few years later when he came to see me at work and I was less than friendly he made a comment that he could not believe that is what i was taking from our relationship and me coming off as a "victim" was very unattractive.
I am usually one to stay in touch with my ex's and even remain friends. He is one that I will never be friends or even friendly with again. I used to have nightmares about him but those have long stopped. A few years ago he was pictured in the paper for doing some work with a local church it about made me sick to even look at the picture.
I can say 100% that I will never be in an abusive relationship again. I will never live in fear of someone again, I will not give them that much power over MY life.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Day 7 of the 30 Days of Truth
Day 7: Someone that has made your life worth living.
I don't have one specific person...I have people. My family and my friends make life worth living. I love the adventure that my life is. I look forward to each day and have very happy memories of days already lived. I am sad when I think of the adventure ending as I know it. I think there will be more, but it will be different, it will be a new adventure with new "people".
I have not always been happy, have not always looked forward to the adventure around the corner called my life. I have thought it would be easier to move on to the next adventure early, I am glad that I didn't. I could not see the beauty of life thru the pain of the moment. Just as the clouds fade away into a beautiful rainbow so did the pain of those days not so very long ago.
I don't have one specific person...I have people. My family and my friends make life worth living. I love the adventure that my life is. I look forward to each day and have very happy memories of days already lived. I am sad when I think of the adventure ending as I know it. I think there will be more, but it will be different, it will be a new adventure with new "people".
I have not always been happy, have not always looked forward to the adventure around the corner called my life. I have thought it would be easier to move on to the next adventure early, I am glad that I didn't. I could not see the beauty of life thru the pain of the moment. Just as the clouds fade away into a beautiful rainbow so did the pain of those days not so very long ago.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Day 6 of the 30 Days Of Truth
For the whole list and previous posts click here
Day 6 is: "Something I hope I never have to do"
I have a few for this one...
Day 6 is: "Something I hope I never have to do"
I have a few for this one...
- Watch my parents die
- choose between my life and someone elses
- watch my friends,family,pets suffer
- go hungry
- identify a body
Friday, August 13, 2010
Day 2 of the 30 Days Of Truth
Day 2 of the 30 Days of Truth
What I love about myself.
I love that I have a huge heart. I love that I care what happens to our planet, to our people, to our animals.
I love that I still have friends from childhood that stay in touch with me. I love my sense of humor. I love that I love ME!
This post is reminding me of that Toby Keith song ....lol
For those that know me..what do you love about me?
What I love about myself.
I love that I have a huge heart. I love that I care what happens to our planet, to our people, to our animals.
I love that I still have friends from childhood that stay in touch with me. I love my sense of humor. I love that I love ME!
This post is reminding me of that Toby Keith song ....lol
For those that know me..what do you love about me?
Thursday, August 12, 2010
30 Days of Truth
I found that several of the blogs that I follow are doing something called "the 30 days of truth" . I have liked reading theirs so far and it gives me a topic for the day...so here goes!
Day 1 is something I hate about myself.
I hate that I have no will power when it comes to weight loss. I leave the house all pumped up on exercise and eating healthy and then get to the store only to pile crap in my cart.
I hate that I have become so lazy. I would rather blog or facebook than actually get out and exercise and interact with real people.
I hate that I don't keep a cleaner house.
Wow...this is turning into a hate fest...not sure it's the most happy of posts. I am a glass half full kinda girl...rainbows and lolly pops, kittens and cotton candy, rose colored glasses wearing kind of girl. I don't like to hate anything...so I am sorry I have to change this post...I hate that I got distracted from my perfect world for a minute and posted negitive things :) lol
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Day 1 is something I hate about myself.
I hate that I have no will power when it comes to weight loss. I leave the house all pumped up on exercise and eating healthy and then get to the store only to pile crap in my cart.
I hate that I have become so lazy. I would rather blog or facebook than actually get out and exercise and interact with real people.
I hate that I don't keep a cleaner house.
Wow...this is turning into a hate fest...not sure it's the most happy of posts. I am a glass half full kinda girl...rainbows and lolly pops, kittens and cotton candy, rose colored glasses wearing kind of girl. I don't like to hate anything...so I am sorry I have to change this post...I hate that I got distracted from my perfect world for a minute and posted negitive things :) lol
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
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