Tuesday, January 25, 2011

30 things about me

1.I think someday I WILL win the lottery.

2.I am not afraid of dying but sad about leaving this world.

3.I wish I would have had children.

4.I think my dad is one of the neatest people I've ever met.

5.I find people in general disappointing.

6.I would like to be a little less sensitive.

7.I can not get enough sweets.

8.Watching acts of kindness touches my heart.

9.I've wanted a house with a white picketed fence since i was a little girl.

10.Hearing my mom laugh is one of the happiest sounds in the world.

11.If I could turn back time I would have changed my sisters life.

12.Nature inspires me, calms me, quiets me.

13.I sang in choir, played the violen, and the clairinet and can't read music.

14.I never memorized the multipication tables.

15.What I missed most about the small town I moved here from was running into people I knew at the grocery store and having drop by company.

16.When I can't sleep at night I day dream about ways to spend the money when I win the lottery. Usually it focuses on decorating and travel.

17.Growing up my family was very similar to the Cosby family..only white..and my parents were not doctors or lawyers.

18.The first concert I ever saw was Adam Ant.

19.I love junk mail.

20.One of my biggest fears is losing my memories.

21.If I could look like any person in the world it would be Halle Berry.

22.I felt a connection to Vic long before we ever met or even started talking everyday.

23.I think pink is the happiest color of all.

24.I hate when people use "on a scale of one to ten" how do you feel

25.My least favorite color is mustard yellow

26.I had a teacher in third grade that flipped my desk over and yelled at me in front of my class. I still loved school ..amazing

27.The first song I ever remember crying to was Open Arms

28.I've cried at almost every one of the final season of Oprahs shows.

29.I no longer care if my purse matches my shoes

30.I don't go anywhere without my blackberry!







.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Surgery

This next week I am going to have surgery. I've only spoken about it with a few friends and so far everyone I've told has either had it done also or knows someone close to them that has. I was already feeling good about the surgery and now even better.

I am having a hysteroscopy and D&C with endometrial ablation.  The hysteroscopy/D&C part is to remove some polyps that I have in my endometrium. I have been bleeding quite heavily since early December and after two ultrasounds they have decided that this is why. The endometrial ablation part of the surgery is to stop the bleeding all together and hopefully I'll no longer have periods. I love this idea! Especially since it is not as drastic as taking out my female parts and messing with my hormones!

The surgery will be an out patient surgery. What they have told me that I can expect after the surgery is
  • Mild cramping for 1-3 days following the surgery.
  • Light Vaginal bleeding/spotting for up to 1-2 weeks.
  • Avoid Swimming, tub baths, sex, tampons, strenuous exercise.
Sooo anyway, next week will be a little crazy for me with pre-op appointments and getting caught up on work so I can take a few days off but hopefully after that I'll be back in  tip top shape and ready to blog again!

Have a wonderful weekend and hug the ones you love!

Update!
I had the surgery yesterday. Everything went smoothly. I am super impressed with Sarasota memorial hospital. I have been in several hospitals lately and found Sarasota to be one of the cleanest and friendliest!
I was told to be there by 5:30am , for a surgery at 7:30. Not sure how long the surgery lasted or started but Doc said it would be about an hour if everything went as planned. I was checked out and on my way home by 4pm. I had some cramping and was super tired/loopy from the drugs but by bedtime I was feeling almost normal.

I woke up today like any other day and had just a little cramping. I am going to take it easy and rest for the most part of the day. Luckily I can drag my laptop to bed with me! It's hard to rest when you don't feel bad.

I can't drive for a few weeks so I'll be dependent on friends and family. Maybe I'll get some good blogging in!
Thank you all for the well wishes and prayers. I hope that your weekend is fun and exciting in all the good ways!

Holly

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Clothes!

I am cleaning out my closets today and posting TONS of stuff on ebay. Free Shipping and low prices so please, please, please if you need  new clothes check them out! Some of the things still have tags, yes I'm one of those...I hate to try things on in the store and often also hate to return them!  I have lots of different sizes too...12,16,14,18 in pants, skirts, shorts    Tops in S,M, XL, L

My link to ebay is http://myworld.ebay.com/flhollygrl

Monday, January 17, 2011

One of my favorite quotes

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.



Martin Luther King Jr.

US black civil rights leader & clergyman (1929 - 1968)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Date Night


Last night we finally got back on track and went to see The Color Purple at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Center. It was awesome!!  We bought the tickets several weeks ago and have been counting down the days. It was the first time either Vic or I had been to the Van Wezel so we were not sure about our seats, but I had heard that there are no bad seats there. We were on row 23 , seats 11 and 12. The tickets were $55 each, a bit more than we normally spend for date night, but well worth it! It would have been more perfect closer to the stage, but the sound and performance were brilliant.

Of course I had a wardrobe malfunction right before we left home and the buttons on the pants I was going to wear popped off! (note to self, MUST lose weight!). I ended up finding a different outfit but needed a shawl that I could not find and improvised with a black table cloth..mom aren't you proud? LOL  Vic didn't even know until I told her so I think I pulled it off pretty good!

If we would have gone straight home or anywhere else to eat the evening would have ended a huge success! But.....we made the mistake of stopping at the IHOP on the way home in Sarasota. It was after 11pm so our dining choices were limited.

We almost walked out after it took the waitress three tries to find us a clean table. We thought there was a bad odor in the place and later after a trip to the restroom we found out why. I won't gross you out, we'll just leave it at YUCK. The food was average for IHOP..you don't go in a place like that expecting much in fine dining. Vic ordered more gravy for her country fried steak and it never came. I had to ask for refills on my soda because the waitress never checked back in on us. We were happy to finish our meal and head home. The babies missed us and we went to sleep with the songs from the musical playing in our heads.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Reality Recap

It's been a while since I've done a reality TV recap and it's not because I have not been watching, I have!! I lost my mojo to blog for a little second there but hopefully I'm back! I'm on the last stages of being sick and hopefully by next week when I'm done with the Z pac, the prednisone and the inhalers I will be back to my perky, cheerful, regular sounding voice self! I hope sooner than that because we have tickets to go see The Color Purple tomorrow night!

OK what has been happening in TV world...before I start with the reality shows..have you been watching All My Children? OMG we are about to see crazy Annie return. I know some of you don't like that story line but I LOVE crazy Annie! It's a little disappointing thou because I would have liked to have seen  her go crazy on the old Marissa..I'm not so sure about this new one. The new Scott is hard for me to get into to. I keep seeing him as Bill Lewis from Guiding Light...the other Scott seemed more like what I picture Scott to be in my head. I think I heard from my friend Kelly that the new Scott is actually the original Scott or something but that was before I started watching it. Have I lost you yet?
OK I could go on about how Greenly bugs me and I am on Madison's side but I'll save that for another blog.

New Years Eve...I stayed home and watched Bravo TV with the Wig Drop (Andy Cohen , Kim Zolciak,Jeff from Flipping Out, Jiggy and grandma wrinkles, etc) I was kind of disappointed in the whole thing. Jeff was sick and on cold medicine and appeared to have taken his mean pills. I watch his show but shake my  head at what an ass he is to people and wonder how he seriously has any friends.
There was obvious tension with kim and nene from the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Dang NeNe is a big and tall woman! She towered over everyone. 
The big after midnight event was grandma wrinkles (a cat with no fur) and jiggy (a dog that dresses up) got married. Corny ...And I was ready to turn it off long before midnight but kept hoping it would get better.

Millionaire Matchmaker. I think the last show I watched had a hello kitty loving big girl millionaire looking for ..something..not sure it was love. She picked the biggest loser for a date and gave him a handjob over watching him eat with his mouth full at dinner. Gross! Patty should set her up with that other gross millionaire guy that brought the monkey on with him...I think he's on Celebrity Rehab now...what a match!

What have you been watching? Have you tuned into OWN yet? (the Oprah Winfrey Network) I have, and i love some of the shows. I still can't stand Dr. Phil so I skip anything he's on except the new show with the 10 people trying to get their own show. I love that so far. I am rooting for the man in the wheelchair (sorry I don't know all of their names yet, I've only seen one episode) but he's awesome funny and has my vote.

Please leave comments about what shows I may be missing out there...I love to hear from ya'll.
Anyone else hoping Sister Wives comes back on? Ruby will be back in March, and I really can't wait for the Real Housewives of Atlanta's ending..I saw Andy tweet yesterday that they just finished filming it.

Have a great Thursday!

Monday, January 10, 2011

January 2011

I'm getting used to the fact that we are in a new year now. I've been getting the 1099s gathered for our property owners, and trying to set up my bookkeeping in a more organized fashion this year.

We have tickets to go see The Color Purple on Friday at the Van Wezel . I am super excited about that. I love going to live performances. Hopefully we will fit more of those in this year.

I'm fighting a cold/cough that has hung on way too long. Will most likey have to make another trip back to the Dr. for a second round of meds.

We have not made it back to the homeless camp since the day after Christmas but we have a few things collected and will try and make it next weekend. We want to get a few more propane tanks for pops heater before we go again.

My sister called tonight and is doing better. I had just made the decision today that I would not call or text or stop by her house again until I heard from her and then out of the blue tonight she called to tell me she was feeling better and keeping food down. I am very happy that she is feeling better and hope she will stay on the track to recovery.

I have to show property in the morning. I hope the  people want the house and can move in by Feb. 1st. Our annual rentals seem to fill up fast. (knock on wood!) Wish our seasonal rentals stayed as full.

I've seen so many cute blog ideas lately for a yearly type blog project. One woman takes a picture of her feet whereever she is standing and did a year end blog with pictures thru the year of the places she stood. It was a clever idea but I never think to do that until after i've left a place. Ive been taking tons of pictures on my new blackberry but the quality of the pictures are not very good so I hate to post them. I've sent several to my facebook only to log on later and realize they are so dark you can't even see what is in them.

I'm not very good at keeping up with things I start *glaring at my treadmill that has not been used but once since I got it in October*. I'd like to think this year will be different but I kind of doubt it.  We shall see.

I am just as hooked as ever to my reality shows...and the OWN network. I can't wait til Sunday when Mya Angelou is on Master Class. I'll try and do another reality review one of these days, I am always surprised at how many of ya'll watch those shows. Speaking of those shows, does anyone know if Sister Wives is coming back?

Anyway..I hope that your new year is starting off on a positive note. Smiles, Hugs and laughter sent your way!
Namaste

Saturday, January 8, 2011

God Grant Me The Serenity..

Hello, my name is Holly and I am the sister of an alcoholic.

There are many reasons that people take the first drink. It's a mystery to me how people that grow up in the same family and have the same life experiences can turn out so differently. I do know there are things about Brittany that changed her view of herself from very early on in life. A grandfather that molested her, an elementary teacher that told her she was stupid, boys that teased her and taunted her. You just never know what events in life are going to leave their mark for all of time to see. What memories will stick and what ones will disappear?


My sisters drinking started in junior high. She told me the other day that she remembers one of the boys that she liked telling her that he didn't understand her , and asked why she drank everyday. She didn't know how to answer him, it was her normal already. During those first few years of her drinking she pushed our family to the edge with running away, jumping out of my car as I drove down the highway, sleeping around, getting in trouble at school when she went to school. After not too long of this behavior my parents were at a loss of what to do with her. The looked into and admitted her to a local drug program called LIFE. Our lives were occupied with "open meetings" on Friday nights when we could go see her in a group setting. We had other girls going thru the program come and stay with us. We were learning all about the things addicts do and say to get their drug/drink. The program was for her but in many ways it taught my parents and I coping skills and helped make them feel just a little less helpless.


The program may have kept her alive thru her teenage years but she would end up staying longer than most, running away, and eventually being sent to a home in Mississippi as a last resort for getting clean. It probably wasn't the best place in the world, but I am thankful that she had that year there. She worked as a nanny and had the bible beaten into her. I was away at college during that year so I didn't live thru it with her or my parents. I hear stories about it now and then from her but like most of her past I can't relate to her situations.


Our hopes of her coming home and being a "normal" girl were short lived. She hooked up with a boy that was from our area and also went to both of the same programs she went to. From that point until today we have seen her  thru D.U.I.'s, police chases, helicopters looking for her, SWAT teams surround the house she was living in in fear she was going to kill herself, stolen cars, abusive relationships, her pulling knives on family members, in and out of jails, hospitals, etc. She has also had good years, a sober pregnancy and beautiful baby boy that is a teenager now, she worked with me for almost 10 years, showing up to work everyday. She has had her own cleaning business and done very well ,,twice. She can have a very productive and happy life but the dark days are always close and never forgotten. 
 
When her fiance died in September all of us worried that she would fall back into the old days of drinking and destructive behavior. She surprised us all for a while by doing very well. Then came the holidays. I am not sure if that is what pushed her over the edge or if it was just too hard to keep up with life without her partner.
 
Having an alcoholic close to you brings on so many emotions. I go through everything from fear, anger, compassion, despair,sadness,and some other emotions I have no names for. I want more for her than she wants for herself. I don't have the alcohol to numb my emotions like she does and when she pushes me away I want to go sometimes, most times lately. I can't imagine losing my partner and dealing with finding a new "normal" after so many years together. I would probably be under my bed still, so I give her kudos for getting out and doing things.
 
Her last two trips to the emergency room the doctors have pretty much told her the same thing. This is a wake up call. She is killing herself with the drinking. She now weighs 100 lbs or less, she can't keep food down, she is tearing up her stomach. If she doesn't stop drinking she will die.
 
The hard part with that is, it is a slow and painful death. With her fiance, he had cancer. We knew the outlook was not good with Cancer but he was fighting it. He was going for chemo, he was  treating the disease. With an alcoholic like her, she is not treating the disease, she is not fighting for her life. She is doing just the opposite.
 
As her family member it is hard to wrap my head around trying to cope with the fact that I am going to lose my sister. Will it be this year, will it be years  from now, will it be next week? Will she end up in a nursing home totally out of it from a stroke?   When you find out someone close to you is dying you want to spend as much time with them as possible, you want to remember them for all of the good times you've had. When that someone is an alcoholic you try and forget so many of the bad times and  pull those happy memories out of the mess, you may or may not want to spend time with them because they tend to push you away unless you are an active supporter/enabler to their drinking.
 
I hope that I am wrong and that she will come home from the hospital today and choose a healthy sober life and let the people around her that love her be there for her but I fear that she won't. Time will tell...
 
 
God grant me the serenity


to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.



Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.



--Reinhold Niebuhr