Pour Your Heart Out

There is a blog hop by "Things I can't say" called Pour Your Heart Out.

Here are the rules:

Here are the Rules:

Pour Your Heart Out

Wednesdays

Write a post from the heart.

Something that has been weighing on you.

Something you feel passionately about.

Something you've been wanting to talk about.

A cause, a memory, a belief, a world view.

Anything.

Ok so on to my post..
For those that don't "know" me...I am over 40, have never had kids, am in a same sex relationship, live in Florida where it is not legal for same sex couples to adopt children, and am totally crazy in love with my four furchildren.
 
With that being said...Oprah did it again! Several years ago I was watching her do a show about the foster care system. It was my aha moment that she speaks of. I just knew that I could provide a good home to all of these children that need homes. I talked my then  husband into doing foster care and for a few years that was a big part of my life. 24 children later and many life changing decisions I no longer do foster care and no longer have that husband or life.
 
Fast forward about 5 years..I'm watching Oprah again and the subject is four boys that were nearly starved to death in their foster home. Vic and I hit pause on the TV about a dozen times as we discussed the topic of becoming foster parents. Would it work now with all the dogs? We both agree that we are better suited for babies and  toddlers, we talk about how we can make the second bedroom which is now used as Vic's closet, into a baby room..it would change our lives. This time around I know that falling in love and adopting isn't an option..it's a law here. Can my heart take this again? We leave the conversation with the agreement we will think about it more.
 
I know we will have to keep the house cleaner, train the dogs better, cook more than we do now, seriously get another car because the ones we have won't give us much room for car seats. Part of me wants to say but can't quite really feel the words..."are you crazy for wanting this again?"  I know I'm not crazy. I know it is what I SHOULD be doing. I know it is what my "plan" is.
 
People talk about a "calling" and if ever there was one I feel this is mine. I want to make those children feel loved and to know that there is a better life out there than what they come from. Not that I think I am better than anyone but because they are my focus. I want them to go to bed happy and safe and not scared and hungry. Yes it's my weakness of wanting to change the world.
 
So anyway, I have not made the call yet but it is on my mind.