Strength

Todays Question from "101 journal questions for women": What is your best strength as a woman.


I took a facebook quiz and it said being positive. Which I believe I am.
But I think even greater than being positive is being compassionate.

Achievements

a·chieve·ment

noun

1. 1.

   a thing done successfully, typically by effort, courage, or skill.

   "to reach this stage is a great achievement"

   
   
2. 2.

   the process or fact of achieving something.

   "the achievement of professional recognition"

Todays prompt in the "101 journal questions for women" book is to list your top 10 achievements. 

This one is very hard for me. For each thing I came up with, a negative thought followed with "but I didn't follow through, or it wasn't because of any great effort on my part" type of thing.  I feel like I have not had to work too terribly hard at things that I have really wanted , I have put them out in the universe and they've happened for me and I have an amazing family that has helped me and given me tons of things/support/love/opportunities to make things happen over the years. 

1. Fostered dozens of children for two years after becoming a foster parent. By far some of the  most difficult and rewarding days for me. 

2. Traveled to Europe while in high school as a High School Student Ambassador with the People to People program. 

3. Coming out as a gay women at age 39 and changing up my entire world as I knew it. 

4. Spending a year being there for my dad as he was dying of cancer. Skyping everyday, making multiple visits to stay with him during his treatments and being there to send him off. Not sure it's what you'd think of as an achievement but it fits in courage and effort and something I'm proud of doing and would do again.   

5. Purchasing a brand new  car all by myself.

6. Growing up.Not just getting older but growing up mentally and emotionally. With the wonderful world of Facebook I see that not all of my school friends have mastered this and seem to be stuck back in high school. Life is so much better when you open your mind, let go of negativity  and stop allowing drama into your space. 

7. Getting the lap band surgery. I had the surgery almost 3 years ago. I am not where I want to be yet as far as weight but I know that I never would have gotten there without it. My health issues were just getting worse and after having both hips replaced my mobility was not at a state to just add exercise and expect to get where I needed to be. 

8. Starting this blog. It's been 5 years now. I don't keep up with it everyday but as much as I love journals, diary's, calendars it's fantastic to look back and see where I was and what I was doing back then. 

August 3 2010   It's amazing when I looked back to that Aug. 3 2010 blog and it was so similar to these 10 achievements..WOW! 

9. On the courage part..I went parasailing. I am afraid of heights and will never go again..but I went. 

10.  An achievement that I'm still working on..is trying  new foods and expanding my pallet. As a child I  was a very picky eater and even into adulthood had very limited "likes" in food. Vegetables were out of the question and now I will eat most or at least try them.  

1/6/2015 -1/13/2014 Same Sex Marriage in Florida is Legal!!

1/6/2015   It finally happened. Same sex couples can get married starting today in Florida. We have several friends that got married today, made the front news of the papers , were on the news and made history.Very Exciting. Vic and I are starting to plan for our October wedding...the date is yet to be determined.

I left this morning for work and drove by the Venice courthouse. There was a crowd out front. From US41 I could see the big rainbow flags and the large gathering by the front door (where they perform ceremonies at our court house) All of a sudden tears sprung to my eyes. I honked in approval and called Vic. My tears were not for myself. I really didn't plan on getting married again, my tears were for all of the couples that now don't have to feel like second class citizens ,my tears and emotions were for equality.  The first time I went to Sacramento to see Vic we went to a rally at the capital for Prop 8 and now here we are 7 years later able to get married in our own state! Video from that day :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZOIWJXY-b0

1/13/2015   So , since last Tuesday we have looked at venues , come up with the kind of wedding we want, asked one of my dear friends to perform the ceremony, changed our date from October to November, Picked out and ordered our rings and have had endless discussions about all things wedding. It is so exciting! We both agree that we want a spiritual (not religious) ceremony surrounded by our friends and family that have supported us along the way and share in our journey.

Holy smokes there is a lot to do /consider when planning a wedding! My niece is getting married in December so I'm trying not to step on any toes and duplicate anything she may be doing for her wedding. Not sure if that is a real struggle or just something I've created in my brain but I think it's only respectful. I don't think I'd want a friend or family member having a wedding right before me with any of my ideas/plans etc. I think I'll talk to her and make sure she isn't feeling resentful.

I am not the most patient person and want it all planned and done like yesterday so this is not the easiest thing for me to do. I think once we nail down the venue/reception location I'll feel better. Oh who am I kidding...next it will be "once I order the invitations, or once I plan the menu, or order the cake " it's never ending. :)

I will try and not turn this blog into a never ending bridezilla diary but I can't promise anything ha!
When I get too crazy Vic is kind to remind me "It has only been legal for (fill in the blank number) of days.

Immediate Goals:
Get nails done before we get the rings!
Secure the location for the ceremony and reception.
Start on a fitness plan to get more lbs off by wedding day.

Enjoy my Pinterest wedding board! http://www.pinterest.com/floridaholly/my-big-gay-wedding-planner/

October Beauty Box 5 Review

This is my second Beauty Box 5.

What is it?
It is a monthly beauty box subscription. It costs $12 a month I believe. You get five products each  month. Some full size, some sample size. So far I have been pleased with my selections.
This month I got:
Chapstick hydration Lock , Retail Value $2.99
I like this and will definitely use it

Bellapierre Cosmetics Cheek and Lip Stain in Pink Full Size Retails for 19.99 (sample was not full size)   I probably won't use this as a cheek stain, but I put it on over my chapstick and liked it as lipstick.

Extend your beauty Cosmetic Tool, Retails for $5.49. This tool is to get the last bit of product out of a  hard to reach beauty product. I don't see myself using this. The tip is dishwasher-safe so it could be used over and over. We shall see, but I don't think I'll use it.

I don't usually like or wear the nailpolishes that I get but I have this fantasy that someday I'll grow my nails and be able to  paint them in these pretty colors. I do know in the real world that I will not be growing my nails and even if I did grow them, me painting them would look like a 5 year old did it. I really need to go in and re-do my profile so I don't get nailpolish but I just have not given up on the fantasy yet.
So anyway, this month I got a brand I've never heard of in a color I've never seen. Nanacoco. Color Illusionist..a purple/blue . Retails for $3.95. Full Size Sample.

And the final sample is Lashem Picture Perfect. Retails for $3.95 but this is definitely not full size. It's a pretty tiny sample. It is wrinkle cream, or if you don't have wrinkles yet it says that it can be used as a primer blend.

So, if you add up the products that were full size you are at $12.49 retail.  plus the samples in less than full size. Not sure I'd buy any of this other than the chapstick so maybe not worth it this month but going to the mailbox and finding a little blue/green box with goodies is enough to make me smile...so I think I'll keep this for a bit longer. I still find Ipsy to be my favorite.  When it arrives this month I will do a review on it too.

2014 The slacker returns

Hello! I just looked to see when my last post was and it was Nov of last year...and not even a real post..a Christmas video thingy I made. What a slacker! I've been thinking about doing more regular posts but we see how well that has worked out.

It's now almost 2 a.m. and I can't fall asleep so instead of fighting it for another few hours I thought I'd try and do something with my time. Like update my blogs!

2013 could not have ended soon enough for me. When I think back over the entire year it wasn't all bad. We had some really good times but losing my dad really took its toll on me last year. I'm still finding it hard to know when the blues are going to hit me like a ton of bricks. Tonight was one of those times. Ugh.

Ok back to catching up. I'll start with Christmas since that was my last post. We had Christmas at my sisters like we do every year. My nieces decided they wanted to have an ugly sweater contest. We had a lot of fun making our sweaters.

It was a good Christmas but different. Different because my dad was gone. Different because before the holidays no one had really been in communication with my younger sister. Different because my nephew didn't come. Different in how we opened our gifts...just different. 

I started working two days a week in our Venice office with my mom, sister and brother in law. I'm really liking the change of pace. I must say I do appreciate our small operation on Siesta Key after a few crazy days in Venice...it's all good. It's a good way to stay connected to the family. Being out of sight is often out of mind too with our family..or so it seems.  I'm really struggling without my dad and to me it seems like I'm the only one.

On to New Years Eve...Vic and I went to St Petersburg and stayed at the coolest hotel on the beach. We went out to an event for the night called Butchlesque. It is a fashion show of sorts honoring Butch women. Our good friends put it on , this was the third one we've attended and it was the best yet!  It was wonderful seeing so many different women of all ages getting all dressed up for a night of dancing and fun.

January started off with a trip to the emergency room for Vic. Her doctor thought she was having a heart attack so she called the ambulance and I got a phone call to follow her up to Sarasota Memorial. Scary few days but everything checked out. Thank goodness for insurance !
Dexter didn't get through the month without some doctor time either. He went in for a teeth cleaning and came back minus 9 teeth! It was worth it..he can kiss on me all he wants now..what a difference in his breath! He seems to be a happier pup too.



I caught up with my friend Lisa and learned what fun Bingo can be! I can't wait to do it again next week!

February is half way done almost..can't even believe that! We celebrated our 5 year anniversary last weekend by going to the Florida State Fair. It was a lot of fun!

Here is a video I made for our anniversary..it's long but I had to fit five years worth of photos in there! lol
I hope to update a lot more often this year. Thanks for reading and commenting..Love ya!
Happy 5th Anniversary

Day 7, 8 and 9 (30 days of Thankful)

The end of the week was kind of hectic for me. I started helping out at our Venice office and had to adjust to new duties, new hours and it ate into my blog time.

Day 7 I am thankful for nice people in the world. People that pay it forward. :)

Day 8: I am thankful for growing up in the small town that I did (Moberly, Mo) There is just no way to duplicate the things you learn when you grow up with the whole town knowing your business, Everyone knows your parents, grandparents and every screw up you've ever done.  I think the best part about it is moving away, seeing the world and then going back from time to time and still feeling "welcome" and like it's held a part of your heart no matter how long you've been away.

Day 9: Vic!!! I am so very thankful for my partner, my lover, my best friend. I can only describe our relationship as being heaven sent. I honestly believe there had to be powers greater than us driving us together. We lived on other sides of the country yet managed to run across  each other on Myspace and start chatting and building a friendship. After a year of that we  took the plunge to actually meet in person and that just confirmed what we thought we knew;we HAD to make it work and live closer. We did lists of pros and cons of   each of us moving. It ended up that my list "won" with more pros. I was in need of another hip replacement surgery and my doctor was here in FL. My family was here, I worked for them and there would be a place for Vic. Those were the biggies. I've never looked back  and am reminded  almost everyday how very blessed I am to have Vic in my life.

Dream Vacation

Dream Vacation

September

Ok This September!   I'm just as obsessed  with the fall TV schedule as ever. I still watch too much TV. Some of the shows I'm watching or looking forward to watching: Gray Anatomy, Parenthood, Hostages, Sister Wives, Revenge, Homeland, The Little Couple, Person Of Interest,nashville,Scandal,Shark Tank,Amazing Race,Ray Donavan,Newsroom,Life Below Zero going to miss Breaking Bad..the final episode is on tonight. My DVR is on overdrive with all of this activity. Big Brother 15 came to an end with Andy winning. It was a very mean spirited year on BB and can only hope next summer is bettter. With that being said I didn't  miss an episode and went as far as to watch the after dark episodes and many youtube/twitter and facebook posts..I need an intervention!

My sister turned 50 this year!
 

We enjoyed some peace with nature. Getting ready for a crazy busy October.

 


Septembers Past
2012 My dads cancer was back and he started another round of Chemo in Sept. Not a happy time.

2011: the dogs playing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb0pQHYxTHk
          Final episode aired of All My Children
          Went to Mi Pueblo with Trace, Anita,Deb, Linda and Vic

          The First Butchlesque!

          Helped Deb and Linda pack up the truck to move.
       
          Started my weight loss blog (bandedinflorida.blogpsot.com) My first blog post over there: http://bandedinflorida.blogspot.com/2012/09/pre-surgery.html

2010: A trip to Mote Marine, a view of the dolphins http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKqjnSSfY90

          Gin passed away from Cancer (Brittany's fiance) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EizrzRrPVSM&feature=c4-overview&list=UUkEYaSI1fUCmrQR7ovB92cw

          Went and saw "The Kids Are All Right" here is a blog I wrote about it: http://whathollyhasseen.blogspot.com/2010/09/night-at-movies.html

2009: Took the dogs to the beach http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOOoksH_6h0 and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZJGWH7U2Hs

           We closed J's Home Furnishings

2008: Vic visited Fl to see me for the first time! Here is an evening on the south jetty http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZJGWH7U2Hs and here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yww8DfgJJs8

1973 Started public Kindergarten in Fargo North Dakota at Horace Mann

1972 I was almost 5 and started private Kindergarten at First Methodist Day School in North Dakota

St Pete Pride 2013

St Pete Pride 2013

Equal Rights

This week Vic (my partner) and I have been getting our affairs in order. We've seen an attorney to have our wills drawn up, power of attorney, medical power of attorney done and looked into life insurance and what will best protect us in case one of us would fall ill or die.

I know so many people  think the only reason gay people fight for gay marriage is so that we can have a ceremony and all the hoop la of a wedding. That is so far from the reason that most of us want marriage to be a legal option for us. It's more so we have the same rights as a married couple has. It's unfair that we have to spend so much more money just to protect ourselves. When we buy a home together we have to do it as joint tenants with the right of survivorship.

I know we have civil unions and domestic partnerships but they don't afford the same rights as "marriage" does when it comes to the laws in this country.  Some of my friends were surprised to hear that in Florida gay couples were not allowed to adopt a child and  Arkansas and Utah ban any unmarried straight or gay couples from adopting or fostering children. Mississippi bans gay couples, but not single gays, from adopting.  So much for what is best for the children. I bet those people would also be surprised to hear that in many states I could be fired for just being gay. 

That's all for my rant today...

Butchlesque

Please check out this link!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/279058410/butchlesque

A good friend of mine  is trying to raise funds on KickStart for this fabulous butchlesque production.
anyone who wants to back this event can still do so by following this link & making a pledge of even as little as a DOLLAR! If the funding goal isn't reached, then no one's credit card gets charged.

"L"

A few of my favorite "L" Things

Blog:


Labradors of course! My two babies Scout and Dakota pictured here

Youtuber: Lizzie the Lezzy!



And of course Loco Mama

I was Poked!

I was pleasantly surprised this week! My best friend from college "poked" me on facebook!! We had lost touch many years ago and I had often  wondered what had happened with her life. When we lost touch she was married with two small children in North Carolina and her life/world looked as close to perfect as my brain could wrap around. She had the very well dressed perfect kids, the big beautiful house that looked like it could have come out of a magazine. Her husband had a good job, she was doing wedding planning and scrapbooking. I believe..very creative "perfect" things. I am sure her life wasn't all this perfection, but since so many of the things that I longed for were lacking , her life sure looked good!

When we lost touch I was sure it was because of me. I wasn't married, if I was it didn't count. She came to visit once (maybe twice, but I could have blocked out the second time) I was living with my first husband in a small house with two Dalmatians and a dozen puppies. The bed she had to sleep on had no frame or headboard. My then husband was loud,obnoxious and drunk most of the time...I spent her visit being embarrassed by my life. Instead of the nice visit I wanted, I was hiding all of the fighting and hoped she wasnt noticing all of the drinking.

We lost touch and I went on to marry a second time. I had remained friends over the years with a boy that I dated in high school. He was the cute surfer that my parents were not crazy about at the time but they grew to like him after we got married.

That marriage lasted about two years. What went wrong? He drank, I bitched and we both needed time to grow up a little. We still talk on occasion and I would do anything for him, one of those things where we should have stayed best friends and not ruined it with marriage.

Ok then on to number 3....What? you thought that I would have given up dating and enjoyed life? Noo..just kidding. Number 3...We met in beautiful St Simon's Island GA after talking a very short time on AOL.Yes after husband two I discovered the Internet! There was a lot of dating going on.Number 3 and I really clicked.At the time we met I had a girlfriend and he was fine with that. I wasn't as fine with his girlfriends but it worked. It never really occurred to me that I could have a serious romantic one on one relationship with a female. I knew other gay couples but just never considered that option for myself.

After a year of dating long distance he moved to Florida. We moved in together and got married. We had a very good life together. All of the things I thought would make a perfect life...Nice cars,Big houses, yacht club memberships, wonderful vacations...and so on. Boy was I wrong on that one!

 We started doing foster care because I wanted children. I fell in love with my first foster baby...Jabez.  

All thoughts of adopting this perfect little boy ended one day in court when the judge thought it would be better if he was raised by his grandparents. I would go on to take in dozens of other foster children but none filled the hole in my heart left by this boy.

Fast forward a few years and I was sitting home more often than not waiting for the phone to ring in the middle of the night. Not for news of children needing a home for the night but for Number 3 needing a ride home from the club so he wouldn't be drinking and driving. He would go out more and more and I would turn to my "computer" friends for company and understanding.

I could go on and on about the things that happened but we can't go back and it wouldn't change anything..so moving forward in my story...

Between that day in Oct of 2006 when I walked out of my life as I knew it  and today...

I am able to smile, I am with a woman that makes me very happy. I am in a relationship that knows TRUST, not just trusting that there will not be cheating but trust that we will do nothing to harm the relationship we have together.

Today I laugh more than I cry

I smile more than I frown

and I look forward to every day ahead of me

A fun day in the kitchen with Vic and Holly

Vic and I making a pot roast. Part 1


Part 2


Part 3



Part 4