Thursday, June 10, 2010

My younger sister

If you met us seperately you would perhaps not know we were sisters and never guess we were friends. She drinks, smokes, has piercings and tattoos, is a free spirit and one of the funniest people you'll ever meet. I, on the other hand am shy, I can't stand cigarette smoke, I rarely drink, my tattoo and piercings are in places you'd never see them and I'm quiet and only wish I had half the balls she does!

I am four years older than she is. We played together growing up and for the most part got along. When we would fight, my dad , being the funny guy he is, would make us sit holding hands or something like that until we made up. It must have worked, we survived our childhood without killing each other.

When I was a sophmore in high school I went to Europe for the summer and when I came back she had grown up on me. She was dating,(one of my ex boyfriends!) getting into trouble and starting to turn into someone that I didn't know anymore. We moved to Florida that summer and things just got worse.

Her teenage years were very hard on her and while she was in and out of programs and such we didn't spend much time together. For many years her life sort of spun out of control. It was awful to feel so helpless. She had given up on herself but I never gave up on her.

About 5 or 6 years ago she was looking for a job thinking no one would hire her because of her past. At the time I owned a furniture store and felt like I should give her a chance...what happened next is that we worked together every day for 5 or so years. In that time period we had one or two fights..and I'll be the first to say they were my fault. I am not always the easiest person to work with...but we learned what buttons not to push with each other and more than anyone else we know how to calm each other down.

We became best friends. I love my sister so much that I feel her pain, I ache for her knowing the regrets she holds in her heart. I wish everyone knew her heart the way I do. She is such a special girl and although sometimes tough on the outside Ive never met a more nurturing, pure person.

I make fun of her for taking thousands of pictures of orbs in her house, the way she makes fun of me for fretting over my dogs. She said she knew for sure I was gay one day because of how I over react to any injury my dogs have. That cracked me up.

She is such a good sport..more so than me. I have tormented and teased her only like a big sister can and she just laughs and goes on without ever thinking of how she can get me back.

I miss the furniture store because it was such a huge part of our life together. We played skipbo and Phase 10 almost everyday that we worked together. We laughed until we peed our pants..ok ok only I did that, and we learned how to trust each other in a way that perhaps would not have happened without those years working together.

She is facing a difficult road ahead of her right now as she helps her partner of the last 6-7 (?) years fight cancer. As much as my heart goes out to him and his family, it also goes out to her because I know how much he means to her and what a special relationship they have.

I love you are not alone.