Monday, June 6, 2011

The "C" word

It was a long day at work. Typical Monday stuff, lots of paperwork, phones ringing and bills to pay. I was craving pasta and getting cranky by 4pm 2pm. We decided to hit Red Lobster on our way home because it was close and I had enjoyed their pasta before.

When we sat down an older couple sat behind us. Vic heard them order a glass of wine, when asked if house wine was okay the wife said "whatever you have, we need it". I wasn't purposely listening to their conversation but it was early so the place was not crowded and I could hear every word they said.

The conversation took me back to one year ago when I was sitting in the doctors office with Brittany and Gin.

 The wife was going on about how they at lease didn't talk "stages" today. I wanted to tell her not to have false hopes because that is exactly how it started with Gin and three short months later we would be sitting in a hospital room saying our goodbyes. The husband talked about treatments and surgery and trying to find the good news (finding out soon enough) and that his doctor sounded re-assuring that his wasn't the fast spreading kind.  It reminded me of Gins doctor telling us it wasn't all "doom and gloom". No one knows what it will be like and I'm sorry but WHO wasn't it doom and gloom for? It sure was for Gins family, my sister and anyone that loved the man. What a stupid thing for the doctor to say...Brittany brought those words up to me just last week as another anniversary went by without Gin around.

I've never had cancer touch me so personally as it has these last few years. I lost a classmate a year ago, my brother in law 8 months ago and Vic's very best friend is now home with hospice visiting a few times a week, one of my younger sisters classmates just found out she has stage 4 cancer a few months just seems to be everywhere! At least yesterday on the news there was a ray of hope that they have come out with a drug to help prevent breast cancer...yay for research and new drugs! My wish is that we see a cure in our lifetime.

Sorry to be a downer today..just feeling like life is sometimes so very unfair to some of the nicest people! Cancer sucks. the end


Anonymous said...

Yes, cancer is scary. But sometimes it does work out, truly. I don't know the couple you're speaking of, Holly, but I am sending bunches of healing light and energy out into the universe for them. I can honestly say that once it touches you, you're never quite the same. Whether it's a family member, friend or yourself. Don't be sorry for bringing this subject to the table, ever.
Sending hugs, warmth and love to you...

Cole said...

Your post comes two days after finding out a co-worker lost her battle with cancer. Tears are streaming...but they are tears that need to be shed.

Cancer is scary and between friends, co-workers, my mom and my grandmother - cancer has surrounded me the past two years.


Kimber said...

I lost Bobby to small cell cancer, the fastest growing/spreading of all cancers. They gave us so much hope, then the next day took him off chemo, and said it was too advanced. It had ravaged him. I saw him go from vital, to 100 pounds in such a short time, and 2 weeks later he was gone. 52 years young, 2 boys who adored him, and devastated parents, brothers and sisters.

Maybe it is just death that sucks, because losing Marie to Lupus, was no easier, than Bobby, to cancer, but I do know that HOPE must reside within us still, and give us strength to fight, till no fight is left.

Love and hugs to you. You are not a downer, you are a compassionate being, down on a VERY *down worthy* disease.

Anonymous said...

Cancer has touched me..father..uncles...friends...and spouse. Luckly a drug called herceptin was in the final stages of clinical trial...this saved my wife's life...that was 6 years ago !