Tuesday, September 21, 2010

What's Left

I'm going to be 43 in a few weeks. I wonder if I am passing the half way mark to my life. Will I live past 86? These past 43 years went by pretty quickly, will the next 43 be just as fast? Will I continue to forget amazing things that I've done? I know I won't have all the same people in my life in the second half. In the first half I had to say goodbye to grandparents, pets,teachers and some friends. The second wave is just going to be harder. I imagine more loved ones, family, and sadly more pets will leave me :(

I do believe that we all go to a better place when our bodies leave this life. I am not dreading death. My sadness is selfish I guess because what I fear/dread is not having those people still around for me. It would be better if we all went together.

I really don't mean to make this a dark , sad, post. I love my life. I look forward to each and every day. If I was told that I had only months,days, hours to live would I regret not doing something?

I have never had a bucket list . If I want to do something I do it. If I have not done it ,I figure that either I will or I won't..simple enough. My thinking is a little different on these kind of things. If I would make a bucket list and set about to doing everything on that list I may miss out on other things that I was suppose to be doing. I think that people/things/events are put into our lives for a reason and the simplest things could end up meaning the most to us. I go through life with my eyes and heart wide open. I notice and celebrate the beauty in every sunset, every rose that gives me the gift of blooming in my garden, every puppy kiss....etc.

I don't always know the reasons behind why things happen but I think I come across people all of the time that are here to teach me something or me them. I found a young blogger a while back and feel that pull towards her. I am not sure why, but I feel almost as if we are being introduced to each other for some sort of support or lesson.

When one passes over I'd like to think their spirit still watches over their loved ones left behind, still finishing the earth project. Vic and I were just talking about this last night. She thinks her dad really had a part in making things work for us. I know something in the universe wanted us together because it all just pulled together so perfectly for us when it could have just fallen apart living 3000 miles away from each other.

I went to a psychic once and she told me that I had spirits around me and would always be protected. Nothing bad would happen to me in my life. I always believed this. I've had heart break but very little. I think my positive attitude and outlook on the world helps me to see a bigger picture than myself and be a much happier person than some of the people around me.

What do you think the next 43 years will look like?