Dreams

Since my last post my father has passed away. I was fortunate enough to get to spend the last two weeks of his life by his side. Exactly one year ago he was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. His prognoses was not good so we made the most of the year. Last March I went up to TN and spent two weeks with him while he started chemo. Over the summer he was in a brief remission sort of thing and he made it back to Florida for a week or so. During Thanksgiving we rented a cabin in TN and went and spent the holiday with him. My sister spent Christmas in TN with him and in January and then again in Feb. I was up trying to fit more time into the hourglass that was quickly losing its sand.

I've been back in FL now for about a week. Vic, my partner, has been having dreams every night where my dad visits her. The first set of dreams my dad was wanting her to count money and balance it on an old ledger. It was very frustrating because it would not balance. The figures just would not be what my dad thought they should be.

The next set of dreams was about two boxes. My dad told her that one box was a "good" box but before she could give it to me there was something she needed to do with the second box...in that order..do something with the second box and THEN give me the first box. For many reason she could not open the second box...it took the form of a safe in one dream, a gift wrapped box in another...no matter what it was her hands would not let her open it.  Finally she gave up and gave me the "good"  box without following the instructions of doing whatever was in the second box first. When I opened it blood and guts spewed out all over my lap. She woke up very upset after this dream.

Last nights dream Dad came and told her about a gay man named Tom that had passed away. He was from a small town and wanted to leave his money to many different gay charities. Dad told Vic to write briefs and take them to a judge to submit them. Vic would start writing and dad would want something changed and she'd have to start over....this continued with the writing and starting over.

I've been doing some research on the meaning of dreams but I just can't figure these out. Odd....

Summer Vacation and Photo of the Day

Summer  Vacation!

I have three vacations in the works but they are Labor Day, October and November ..so not really summer.
The Labor Day one is to TN to see my dad and his new house!  My sister and I went up and saw him last year when the leaves were changing, it was beautiful!Check out the little horses next to his house. I think there is something very soothing about TN and the mountain air.

 This time Vic is going with me, it will be the first time we are leaving our furbabies behind. In an ideal world we'd have a big RV and beable to bring them with us! We are going to board the littles and my sister will be checking in on the labs. It is only going to be a long weekend so hopefully we will all do okay and not have too much seperation anxiety (mainly ME )

 (October is my 25th class reunion and November we are taking a cruise to the Bahamas..can't wait!)

My Photo of the Day for June 14th is "Someone I love" Here is my love, Vic :)

Little Horses Love Me

The farm next to my dads has six miniature horses. I had fun feeding them but I am afraid of all horses, no matter what size they are. I thought I'd have fun and make a video of them with my sister. Yes it is me screaming like a little girl...Enjoy!

Cades Cove, TN

On my visit to TN last weekend I went to Cades Cove. This is by far my favorite picture!

Road Trip!

When my sisters fiance went in the hospital a month ago I had no idea how much life was about to change.
I am not complaining at all , please don't get me wrong. I would do anything for her .

When he passed away I was there but more importantly I have been there since. While he was still hanging on she made a comment to me that it was nice to have so many people around but she was worried that once he was gone where would they be. I have tried to fill her days with things to do so that she didn't ever feel alone. I realize that is not realistic. Her life partner of the last 9 years is suddenly gone. The man that filled her car with gas, bought the groceries, paid the bills, ran the house...was no longer going to be there for her.

She has good days and bad days. It's the unexpected triggers that sneak up on her that throw her off. For example we were working on paying bills yesterday and writing down things on the calendar when she realized that after this year is up and she gets a new calendar she will no longer have his handwriting on the calendar. It hit her hard. What can you say? Nothing.

She has gotten over moving his urn into whatever room she is in. For a while it sat in his chair, and then moved to the bed when she went to sleep. She is going to get a vile so she can wear some in a necklace or something.  I've often joked with Vic that I want to be put in a big pink urn that lights up and is kind of obnoxious so the next girlfriend will always be reminded me of me...not very nice is it? LOL

This weekend I am going to go to TN to visit my dad with my sister. We are taking a nice long road trip to get away for a few days. It will be nice to have a change of scenery. I hope to come back with lots of pictures and happy things to blog about.

This past month I have written many blogs but have not published them. I dont want my blog to be about me venting on how much cancer and doctors suck or how some of my family really disappointed me or anything negitive...I don't want to look back later and see a series of depressing blogs. Until I can blog happy things again I will be MIA. I hope this trip to TN cures me :)

How Times Have Changed

I posted a note on my facebook about how much times have changed since Soaps first aired on the radio back in the 30's & 40's. When Guiding Light went off the air I was crushed because I had followed that show since high school. I was happy when I saw that it was continuing on via Twitter. Then just this week I was watching All My Children and Erica Kain is getting ready to go on her honeymoon (don't ask me how many times she has been married, I just know it's in the double digits!) She mentions to her daughter Brianna that she can follow her on her blog while she is away.

So anyway...after posting this note about how far we've come I started getting comments about the generation today not knowing what it was like not to be so connected to everything.  This is so true.

A few years ago I went on a cruise and was forced to say goodbye to my computer and cell phone for a week. It was the most relaxing vacation I had been on in YEARS just because I had no contact with the outside world (no bill collectors, no problems from work, no heartbreaking news headlines, no spam).

I find it very hard  to go anywhere without my cell phone. I have no idea how we ever did it without them! On the rare times I've left the house with my cell phone sitting on my nightstand I about have a panic attack that today will be the day I have a flat tire or run out of gas.

And then there is facebook,twitter,myspace Etc. I think it is fantastic to be back in touch with so many friends from high school and my family and everyone else I am friends with on facebook. Would graduation not been as sad if I had known I'll still be in touch via facebook?

So some might say the kids today are really missing out on what we had but I'm happy that kids will be in touch more with their families and friends online. I would have loved to have followed my grandparents on facebook! I am thrilled when my dad posts new pictures of what he is doing since he moved to TN last year. It makes me feel closer and a part of his life.