Who Am I ?

Would you guess that I am painfully shy by looking at my twitter/facebook/blogs?  Probably not. Would you label me a lesbian? Bi? I usually  have a hard time fitting into a label....I blame it on my Libra birth sign. I have to see all sides, try all sides. I love the person for what's on the inside, not just their body parts. When I was first dating Vic she called me "fluid" once. I think I am...

You may not know unless you've been on the receiving end that I have a quick temper. Not quick to get mad but quick to get over it. I guess quick if I'm allowed to express my feelings  on the  subject or take it out some how, if I am forced to hold it inside no one around me can usually be very happy. 

I've had the same group of friends since I was little. When I make friends it's usually for life. (Until the world of myspace/facebook...where the delete button is so easily clicked in a fit of passing anger) I'm very forgiving and it bothers me a lot if anyone is upset or angry with me. I hate to be ignored and my feelings get hurt pretty easily. My sisters teased me about this a lot growing up. I don't feel like I am a very good friend but I do think that I have many great friends that I could count on in a heartbeat if I needed them. I don't know if anyone feels like they could count on me..and worse yet I am not sure if they could.

I feel others pain a little too deeply sometimes. Watching the news is painful for me. I can almost always put myself in someone elses situation. I have been accused of  projecting on my dogs quite often. I am just sure that if I don't pick D.J.  up when he's giving me those sweet eyes I'm going to hurt his feelings and he'll think I don't love him anymore, or if I yell  at Dakota she will be angry at me and not love me anymore. 

I almost always would rather text or email than talk in person or on the phone. I'm very uncomfortable in groups. Even at most family gatherings I'll be the one sitting back watching and listening or taking pictures. I get more enjoyment looking at the pictures later than I do in the moment they are taken.

I let go pretty easily in most situations. I believe that I am on a journey and people will come and go as they should. No one is here forever but many will leave and return during my time here and beyond. I am sad when things end but not out of control. It's a "until next time" for me, not really ever goodbye.

I need laughter in my world. I can't remember many days that there has not been laughter...even thru the tears I can usually manage to find something to laugh about..even if it's at myself.  I'm so very lucky that I have found someone that "gets" me and laughs right along with me.

I don't mind doing things "your" way as long as it makes sense to me. I like to please people. I don't like being around negative energy..ever.  I like "nice". Mean people don't have a place in my world. 

I feel that I am spiritual but not religious. I grew up going to church (Episcopal) every Sunday and could still sing the songs and say the prayers without ever opening a book. I liked the routine but it didn't fill me with any understanding of what is out there. I still enjoy going to a service here or there but I find my spiritual needs met in private with my thoughts. I believe if you put "good" out you get "good" back. 

I think everything happens for a reason. Those reasons are not always clear but they don't need to be. 

Enough of this "all about me' post... Who are you?

Sex, Politics and Religion

From an early age we are taught that there are subjects we should not discuss in mixed company (What exactly is mixed company?) . Those topics are Sex, Politics and Religion. Do  you remember how you learned about them or how they were treated in your life growing up?

SEX

I don't recall having the "talk" with my parents. I do know in health class we were taken down to the basement of the junior high and the girls were separated from the boys and we had to watch a film on the changes our bodies were going through and how normal it was even though it would not feel normal. And then having a very embarrassing discussion on how to use maxi pads and tampons. I often wondered what the boys film was about or if they just got to have gym time or something while us girls were being tortured and embarrassed.

My mom pulled out a book on sex. I don't even remember what it was really about, again I think more about the changes your body goes through and not really sex. She had me read it and then she put it back in a bottom drawer under some scarves or something waiting for my younger sister to get old enough to need to read it.

When sex actually started I think she knew because of my journals. I wasn't one to lock it up or even spend much time hiding my journals, I loved to write and wrote every boring detail of my teenage life. Being the good mom she was/is she kept up on what was going on in my life with those journals I suppose.  I bet my journals were pretty uneventful compared to my younger sisters as she reached her teen years!

As a family I don't recall any talks of sex. I knew my dad kept penthouse and playboys under his mattress, mom had a scarf from one of their trips that said FUCK in all kinds of fonts on it hidden in one of her drawers. No wild sex toys or anything too scandalous. I think the most fascinating thing to me was a deck of cards they had with different sexual positions on each card. I think I even showed them to some of my friends. All I can say is maybe it's a good thing I didn't have kids..they'd be scared for life with some of things they'd find hidden in my drawers..lol

POLITICS

I don't think this subject was ever talked about at my house. If it was I must have been bored and tuned it out and gone to my happy place. Somewhere through the years I learned my parents were republicans but I don't even know how I learned that.

Our house was not like some of my friends. We did not have crosses or pictures of the president on our walls. I think my parents voted but could not even swear for sure that they did.

Until a few years ago I could not tell you much about politics either. I registered to vote when I turned 18, I think it was partly because I got credit in some class for doing so. I registered Republican and always just voted a straight ticket for all of the republican candidates. I didn't read up on what they believed in or what their history was. I didn't educate  myself on the amendments on the ballets...I just went and voted and wore the sticker all day showing that I did my duty.

It wasn't really until one day that I was watching Oprah and she had on a very charismatic man named Barack Obama that changed things for me. I started following his career and was impressed at his kind and gentle manor. The more I read , the more I liked him and what he stood for.

My first politically rally was the first time I went to visit my partner, Vic, in California. It was for prop 8. An amendment that would add words to the California state constitution (Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.")  There was a large rally in Sacramento and I was proud to be a part of it.

I realized that being gay in America did not offer me the same rights and privileges as being straight in America. Now before I vote I do check politicians back grounds and what their campaign says about gays being able to get married, adopt, foster, etc.  It's a different world we live in now,that is for sure.

RELIGION

I was baptised as an Episcopalian. Growing up we went to different churches. When we'd come to town to visit my grandparents we would attend the Methodist Church yet when we moved to town we joined the Episcopal Church. I remember Sunday School in the basement with my best friends Grandmother teaching us lessons about life as well as church. How to love our neighbors, not to judge, to show respect not only for others but for ourselves. I've never met another woman like her, truly an angel on earth she was.

Church was an almost every Sunday event for our family. I was an acolyte in the church, my parents were very good friends with our priest and his family and the children I went to church with are still some of my dearest friends today. I did not continue to attend Episcopal Church services as I moved out of my parents house. I rarely if ever go to church now. My "church" is an inner peace that I hold and I can worship my God any where and often do.

How do you remember these subjects in your homes growing up?