Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Who Am I ?

Would you guess that I am painfully shy by looking at my twitter/facebook/blogs?  Probably not. Would you label me a lesbian? Bi? I usually  have a hard time fitting into a label....I blame it on my Libra birth sign. I have to see all sides, try all sides. I love the person for what's on the inside, not just their body parts. When I was first dating Vic she called me "fluid" once. I think I am...

You may not know unless you've been on the receiving end that I have a quick temper. Not quick to get mad but quick to get over it. I guess quick if I'm allowed to express my feelings  on the  subject or take it out some how, if I am forced to hold it inside no one around me can usually be very happy. 

I've had the same group of friends since I was little. When I make friends it's usually for life. (Until the world of myspace/facebook...where the delete button is so easily clicked in a fit of passing anger) I'm very forgiving and it bothers me a lot if anyone is upset or angry with me. I hate to be ignored and my feelings get hurt pretty easily. My sisters teased me about this a lot growing up. I don't feel like I am a very good friend but I do think that I have many great friends that I could count on in a heartbeat if I needed them. I don't know if anyone feels like they could count on me..and worse yet I am not sure if they could.

I feel others pain a little too deeply sometimes. Watching the news is painful for me. I can almost always put myself in someone elses situation. I have been accused of  projecting on my dogs quite often. I am just sure that if I don't pick D.J.  up when he's giving me those sweet eyes I'm going to hurt his feelings and he'll think I don't love him anymore, or if I yell  at Dakota she will be angry at me and not love me anymore. 

I almost always would rather text or email than talk in person or on the phone. I'm very uncomfortable in groups. Even at most family gatherings I'll be the one sitting back watching and listening or taking pictures. I get more enjoyment looking at the pictures later than I do in the moment they are taken.

I let go pretty easily in most situations. I believe that I am on a journey and people will come and go as they should. No one is here forever but many will leave and return during my time here and beyond. I am sad when things end but not out of control. It's a "until next time" for me, not really ever goodbye.

I need laughter in my world. I can't remember many days that there has not been laughter...even thru the tears I can usually manage to find something to laugh about..even if it's at myself.  I'm so very lucky that I have found someone that "gets" me and laughs right along with me.

I don't mind doing things "your" way as long as it makes sense to me. I like to please people. I don't like being around negative energy..ever.  I like "nice". Mean people don't have a place in my world. 

I feel that I am spiritual but not religious. I grew up going to church (Episcopal) every Sunday and could still sing the songs and say the prayers without ever opening a book. I liked the routine but it didn't fill me with any understanding of what is out there. I still enjoy going to a service here or there but I find my spiritual needs met in private with my thoughts. I believe if you put "good" out you get "good" back. 

I think everything happens for a reason. Those reasons are not always clear but they don't need to be. 

Enough of this "all about me' post... Who are you?


Stephanie said...

I love this post! It really is so hard to define ourselves isn't? I too think I am a good friend, though that circle of friends is not a large one.
Honest, caring, and a good Mom. Those are my constants.