The Next Ten Years

I was flipping channels on the TV tonight and heard a woman talking about where she wanted to be in 10 years. She said just by putting it out there and thinking about it you are closer to making it become real.

I've always hated the question "where do you see yourself in ten years" because I never really could see myself and after turning 40 and having an emotional break down because none of the things I thought would be happening in my life had happened I just quit thinking beyond today. I do know that life is short and we need to make every day count. But maybe we do also need a plan...

Where did I think I'd be at 42? I thought I'd have the nice house with the white picket fence with a dog, cat, two children, two cars, husband, never really thought much about what either of us would be doing to make a living. Where would I like to be at 52? I'd like to be writing, raising a child or children, enjoying life with Vic, hanging out with Britt,working with the homeless or an animal shelter or being a foster mom again ...I'd like to be doing those things NOW...I would have liked to have been doing them 10 years ago. How do I make them happen? Find a sperm donor? Win the lottery? What is holding me back?

I feel a calling that is bigger than me. I am always on the side of the under dog. I admire people so much that make a difference to others...I want to do that. I don't know where or how to start. I am my own worst enemy. Tomorrow is another day..I will try harder. My brain is tired tonight.