Off

I started feeling "off" last night. Actually I guess it was earlier in the day. I was talking to a tenant about not returning keys to us and I could almost feel my blood pressure go up. The headache started then. I went about my day. I went with my sister and her fiance to the doctor to find out his prognosis. In a world of cancer it was not the best news but also not the worst. The cancer is treatable but not curable. Chemo starts next week. I think we were all just a little relieved that the doctor said treatable. Everything we had read online over the past few weeks about pancreatic cancer and stage four was scaring us half to death.
so anyway...back to ME lol.

I got home and started feeling "off" , hard to explain but kind of like I really needed to eat or I'd pass out or get sick or my head would explode. We ordered Chinese. It helped a little but I was having a hard time focusing, I was short of breath but not fighting to breathe..I have some asthma so this is not the worst it has been I wasn't very worried about the shortness of breath but I was "aware" it was happening. I was zoning out staring off into space and thought I'd better go lay down. I took a nap and woke feeling a little better but still not "connected". My arms were feeling a little numb..fingers tingling a little bit. My chest was a little heavy..not like an elephant sitting on it but maybe a small dog..or a heavy blanket.

On my drive to work this morning I was thinking about stopping by my Doctors office to check things out but drove on by thinking I would call when I got to the office. I came in today because I have to meet a contractor here to go over a job. He said he'd be here around 10. It's a little after 10 now. Once I'm done with him I will probably call the Doctor to see if he can fit me in this afternoon.

I was starting to worry thinking it was a stroke, or the blood pressure or my heart..all of which I have in my family (dad, grandma, aunt). Then I did what I always do..I googled. What I was reading was "depression/anxiety" , so I started to re-think the doctors visit. Maybe all I need is a day at the beach..soaking up the rays and enjoying some peace and quiet. I mean who wouldn't feel better doing that!?

I know I think too much. I worry about things that I shouldn't and don't worry about the things that I probably should. I wish it was Friday. Britt has something to tell me on Friday. She told me this yesterday..Who does that?! I have a secret but can't tell you til Friday.  Grrrrrrr

Anyway...I'm just waiting on this guy and then I'll see what my body tells me to do next :) Happy Wednesday.