Planning ahead so others don't have to

It's been four years now since my sisters fiance died. I had lost grandparents but he was the first person close to me as an adult that died , that I was up close and personal in dealing with the "after" effects ,while helping my sister go through the process. It really opened my eyes and made me aware of getting my own plans in order so my family/friends are not burdened with it later.

Gin (her fiance) had cancer, and had the time to prepare as much as he could prior to his death. He made sure she was taken care of and all of the documents drawn up so when he passed she only had to make a few phone calls. My dad would pass a few years later and again I was there to see how helpful it was to have everything planned out ahead of time. I realize that both of these men had cancer and knew that there time was limited , but in reality all of us could do this.

My partner and I went to an attorney to have all of our paperwork done. There is an extra challenge for us since Florida at this time does not recognize same sex couples as spouses or family. We had to protect each other and our assets. Luckily we live in a pretty open community and have both had a few surgeries and have never had a problem with our hospitals or doctors not letting us stay or be a part of the communication. I know this is not the story every where sadly.

Now our next step is to plan and pay for the cremation. We are looking into a few different places . I met with a lady from the Neptune Society (aka National Cremation Society) today and have an appointment later in the week to meet with a local company (Farley Funeral Home). The prices have been higher than I thought (Over $2000) But something that I don't want my loved ones to have to deal with at all.  

If you have any advise or experiences you want to share, I'd love to hear from you.

Road Trip!

When my sisters fiance went in the hospital a month ago I had no idea how much life was about to change.
I am not complaining at all , please don't get me wrong. I would do anything for her .

When he passed away I was there but more importantly I have been there since. While he was still hanging on she made a comment to me that it was nice to have so many people around but she was worried that once he was gone where would they be. I have tried to fill her days with things to do so that she didn't ever feel alone. I realize that is not realistic. Her life partner of the last 9 years is suddenly gone. The man that filled her car with gas, bought the groceries, paid the bills, ran the house...was no longer going to be there for her.

She has good days and bad days. It's the unexpected triggers that sneak up on her that throw her off. For example we were working on paying bills yesterday and writing down things on the calendar when she realized that after this year is up and she gets a new calendar she will no longer have his handwriting on the calendar. It hit her hard. What can you say? Nothing.

She has gotten over moving his urn into whatever room she is in. For a while it sat in his chair, and then moved to the bed when she went to sleep. She is going to get a vile so she can wear some in a necklace or something.  I've often joked with Vic that I want to be put in a big pink urn that lights up and is kind of obnoxious so the next girlfriend will always be reminded me of me...not very nice is it? LOL

This weekend I am going to go to TN to visit my dad with my sister. We are taking a nice long road trip to get away for a few days. It will be nice to have a change of scenery. I hope to come back with lots of pictures and happy things to blog about.

This past month I have written many blogs but have not published them. I dont want my blog to be about me venting on how much cancer and doctors suck or how some of my family really disappointed me or anything negitive...I don't want to look back later and see a series of depressing blogs. Until I can blog happy things again I will be MIA. I hope this trip to TN cures me :)